HELP Institute..

*Gasp!* "A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.!"

Talking about not worrying about my future...

Anyhow...HELP Institute's building already took my breath away...the building is like..so COOL! Yupz..When we (Cik Sri Devi, Christina, Devis, K.Pui Mun, Me and Swan Boon) were..kinda ''lost'' in the building, trying to find our way out to the shops so that we could EAT..(we were dead hungry!)..the ''classes'' inside were so kewl! The lockers..the labs...the computers! Gosh...but...nah..don't wanna think about my future..too far ahead! Lol..

By the way, the workshop is good lar. Not bad...though I know some people thinks it's boring. But..there are a few pointers here and there. Kristin and Ai Lynn should come. Hehe...then they'll probably make drastic changes in our school magazine this year.

Gosh...tuition is totally making me SICK! I've only got tuitions for only 3 subjects. And I'm vomitting blood already. Imagine what will happen if I take more tuitions. Sighz...I really got a headache the last half hour of the class discussing bout the time we had to replace and stuff.. it seems that for the whole month of April..so..my point is...: Why don't we do everyone a favour and JUST cancel the classes for that month??? Why are we making such a fuss of replacing 10 HOURS of classes?? HEll..we've already covered 7 topics...7!!! But no..we don't wanna cancel classes becuz of GOD knows WHAT. Dunno oso. Whatever.

Okok...please..please..whoever reads this...let it not be ANY of my tuition gang. Especially my tuition teacher...he won't kill me...but...u know...Oh..well..I've got choir at 4 pm later. Malasnya...nevermind...go there have fun..i hope. Lol...Then go swimming!! Yay! MOre laterz. C ya!

Tired

I'm so tired. Finally, school week's over! It's a Friday. I managed to complete my BM project last night and fully binded it this morning. Took me an hour half though. Oh, and I completed my choral speaking script in a night...then I combined mine with U Shen's the next morning and with a lil' changes here and there, TADA! You're now looking at a completed choral speaking script! Lol...hey..but it's true. And photo session was tiring! I don't think my pic this year is nice. I still prefer my Form 3 Picx. What am I saying? I haven't even see the pics yet and already "complaining". Nevermind. I've haven't been my old self today either. No wait. Scratch that! THe WHOLE WEEK!! Guess you guys know the reason. Hmm..I take that back again. Not many know. Or rather...not many remember. Sighz...today I feel so tired and down. I dunno why! Plus I'm also bored! Tomorrow have to go to HELP Institute for some workshop for Edboard. So lazy to go laa..but it's supposed to be a good workshop. Hm...better be..or else...Everyone thought I'm sad or something today. Well...partly I am. I dunno why...maybe not enough sleep kut...because of my tiredness, I kinda ignored everyone. Sorry guys. Didn't mean it. Just not my day to talk today. Really tired. Everyone was like asking..."Why so sad?" I'm not THAT sad actually. Hehe...Don't worry people...(to people who are worried about me)...I'm fine...just...you know lah. Oh...exams results are terrible. Ok. Stop! Won't talk about it. You don't wanna know what will happen. Nothing bad will happen. Just that tears will start stinging my eyes or something similar to that. Izzati Lembu's last day in school is today. Gonna miss her like hell...she's supposed to give me her address so I can mail her. Hehe..Wish I could. Good luck to you my friend. God bless always. With all the spare time today, my brain started stringing word by word and from a rhyming line. Then, I came up with the idea of writing another poem. Sorry guys, won't post that in public. Love that poem. You wanna read...? Let's see if you guys are in my 'specialized list'. Oh, great. My newly created word. Lol. Oh well..better chow now. Exact time? 11.49pm. uh huh...Tomorrow need to go school. And Edboard. hehe..very well..c all of ya soon. Byez! Cheerio selalu!!

Skool! Results! Argh!

"Ring! Ring!"...Apart from that sound..."My beautiful melody from my handphone..."..."Oh no! *Groans*..Please don't tell me it's time for school..."

School holidays are over...*cries*...Missing them already. Woke up feeling really sleepy this morning. Haihz...shouldn't have slept so late last night. Nevermind. Went to school with my tie half-done. "Great. I should have done this last night." The routine is just the same. Same old place..same old teachers..same old..PREFECTS! Argh...people in blue clothings are everywhere. Forget them. Anyway, right into class and memories of exams results came flooding into my brain! Oh, crap! Well...my results were crap as well...I'm not telling you my results. You wanna know..ask me! I just don't wanna ''spread'' this to the whole wide world...Lol! Then...spend the rest of the day..anxious for my next paper to come. Then, library meeting. Usuals...usuals..usuals...have to skip UBS tomorrow for the rehearsal! Huhuhu..I wanna go for UBS! Sighz...lazy to blog now...Till then! Byez

worry sick!

I'm worried. Dead worried. Of someone. My fren. Though I don't really know him. He's worrying me like hell! Okay. I won't say anything more. Btw, I'm also worried for my another fren who did something wrong. I wish I can correct him before something - ok..not really bad..but..trouble for him laa - happens. I jz feel like blogging today. THough everything doesn't seem right today. Haihz...looks like I'll blog till here. Dun feel like it already. Anyway, thx Lien Yiny..for that encouraging comment. =) Byez ppl...

I wanna cry. . .

WHy?? Can someone tell me why I have to be the weak one even though I'm the eldest in the family? Why do I always have to back down in every single fight? It hurts . . . from the very bottom of my heart...it spreads all around. It's really unfair for me!!! Bcuz of 'someone'. . . I lost my courage to scold anyone..even those who you can label...:stranger. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what I'm going to turn to when I grow up later in life. Will I stay forever timid and ''lost''? Forever scared and unable to fight for my own rights? Tell me! I don't want to be a fool in my parents' hearts...a slave to my sister...I...I can't take this! It's just too much...why....I felt..like . . . a soul...trapped in a box...a black box...no sun..no light...no life! I don't want to be a slave to anyone. I just...want to be...me. I want to cry...sometimes..I cry myself to sleep..but there's one thing I'm sure of : everytime someone brings my sister into the conversation...i know..tears will silently roll down my cheeks...I've tried to stop..to bring myself together...to be strong..but I can't...maybe it's becuz the pain I've kept in me for so long . . . but all I know...I'll never stop until the pain in me is gone. . .until I know. . . when I can stand back on my feet. . . and when I can return to my world...i gtg now...*sweet dreams...*

Nice Outing...

Today's outing is N.I.C.E. Well..we didn't get to see a movie.. but..we went bowling. Twice. Together with lotz of walking! Gosh..my leg sakit adi. It turns out that...having my sister around is..fun! Not a disaster after all! Haha! Anyway, already planning to take her out for the next outing. Wakakakaka...Bought lovely prezzie for..ok..won't say..in case the person read this!...I will give full details "soon"! Hehehe...So. I think I spend half of what I was given this morning in Sg. Wang n Lot 10. (money i mean...) Wakakakkaa....nvm..once in a blue moon. :-D! I got new handphone thingy. If you get what I mean...those hanging stuff...hehe..mine is blue! My sis one is pink! ISh...gtg now! Byez!

Sunday morning rain is falling...

" Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, We all fall down..."
"Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win but the battle wages on...for toy soldiers"

I love this song man!!! SO chun-ted...hehe...It's HOLIDAYS!! Yay! Finally a chance for me to go out tomoro! But...wait..there's a catch...yupz...hang on! It's no ordinary catch! It's just a TINY nightmare: My SISTER is TAGGING along! But..nevermind...since she's my only hope of going now....hehe...once in a while wouldn't hurt..will it? *Praying to God* "Please..don't let tomorrow be a disaster.." But I don't think it will...hehe... Anyway..tuition was a bit..'fast' today. N I got really really sleepy in the car...I slept for a couple of hours I guess..then I went for choir...met all my fwens...miss them so much. That Jeff (Chee Kan) mengada...he ah.."miss" my sis soooo much..hehe....aiya...gtg now...byez...

The Sea of Emotions...Pt.1

Here's my second poem of the week...hope you enjoy it!

My Sea Of Emotions (Part 1)

At last, a blast of freedom
Filled with happiness and fun
Running wild in my fairytale kingdom
Kissing the air, thanking the sun.

*

Looking down the road so empty

Quiet, silent and cold

Wondering why I couldn't see

Wonderful things that I've been told.

*

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks

Disappointment filled inside

All my mistakes made me weak

Wishing I could just hide.

*

Rushing of the air

Screams here and there

Laughter everywhere

Excitement? You bet!

*

Poem's Day...

Ppl! I've written a poem today. When I came back from skool. Something happened in skool that 'inspired' me to write this not-so-good poem. Anyway. Just wanna share it. Nolar actually. I jz feel like posting it up. That's all...there will be another one tomoro. Lol...


I'm weak
I know
I'm soft
It's true.

This is unfair
But what can I do???

I can't scream
I can't shout
I felt useless
I felt like being used.

Can someone tell me why?
I had to go through this
I fear I might no longer keep
The pain I've endured so long.

All these questions in my head
Screaming to get out:
Should I be who I've always been or
Should I scream and shout?

As I sit and close my eyes
My thoughts went running wild
I felt the changes in my mind
And hope to see the light.

Looking throuhg the window pane
Admiring the glowing sun
Wishing I could forget this pain
And remember all the fun.

Exams are killing me. . .

"Two more paper...just two more paper, Zunny. Then you're FREE!" Finding myself repeating that sentence after my EST paper today over and over again. I really can't wait till Friday after Accounts paper, then...I'm so totally be jumping for joy! Well, I hope I would. Now that I found out I'm so moody these a days. No idea why. Nope...not exams. Not overwork or something. Nada. Oh well. Forget it. Hope it'll goes off ryte after exams...then..I can cheer with my fwens or something. Knowing me, something weird. Okayz. AddMaths after this. I mean, on Friday. Wishing that I would scrape by at least with an A. Jz the borderline can make me jump with joy. Or if worse comes to worse...at least (i'm hoping!) a B. Or a C. It's the first test rytez? What am I thinking??? How can I think of my results when I'm not even sure I can complete the paper in an hour's time??? ARGH! THIS is scary. "God bless me...and my fwens..." Gosh, I can't think straight. And I can't wait to online. (BTW, I'm onlining secara 'haram'.) "Be patience, Zunny...Friday's coming...it'll be quick...and you can be free..." Psychonyer saya..talking to myself in my blog. Anyway, I dunno what else to write. So I might as well say goodbye. Wait for my next entrie on FRiday! Byez!

Exams!

Okay gotta be quick b4 my sis returns. Rytez...jz drop by to see how's my blog doing. Ah...still the same. Lovely! Hehe...Exams on Monday...crap...haven't study...Hey...will blog more after exams...ryte now...have to chiaoz! Byez!

Terminated.

Hey ppl! I've changed my layout. "The Lost Memories Version 6.0". Is it kewl or what? Anyway, I only took about 5 hours to get this complete. Really fast...compared to my 2nd layout ages ago...it took me more than 10 hrs...imagine! Really glad...though there were many crap trouble that got into the way...patience guided me and brought me to where I stand today. Oh great, I ter-cipta another rhyming phrase. What's with me anyway? I finally found out how to change the thingy on the Tag Board. Kewl...=D I luv my blog...sighz..I'm crapping at this hour now...gosh..it's midnight N i'm still awake N I haven't pack for skool tomoro! :s I'm so naughty...BTw, blog will be terminated for about...a week..till next Friday. Cuz of exams. Gonna miss being online...Nvm...I'll talk about the Sports Day when I get the chance. Chiaoz ppl...gtg! C ya!

P.S. : Thx 4 all of your support during the "hard" times for this blog. LOL!

~Sports Day~

Gee, tomoro is Sports Day already...I'm not going to wakil Shirtliff for anything again this year..so..I'll just be there and give my support. As usual. Shirtliff spirit is running low..i don't know why...I just got this feeling...no offence to all Shirtliff members. Okay. Enough about that. I don't think I can online tomoro...maybe can replace on Sunday..wakakakkaakakaka..=D. Oopsie..gtg now..gtg sleep so can wake up tomoro and then...water game!!! *splash*! Haha..c ya!

SHIRTLIFF ROCKS!!!

Happie Valentine's Day!

*Happie Valentine's Day!*

God Bless You.

May your day is filled with chocolates, flowers and everything nice!

C ya!

Flu..

Woke up feeling...a bit strange. Wondering what it was..suddenly..i was overcome by a feeling...then...AH-CHOO! Oopsie...excuse me! Hehe...looks like I'm getting flu. The first half of my day was spent doing homework. The other half was spent in Times Square. Unfortunately, I didn't go there to have fun in the Theme Park...I spent it walking around and around and choosing watches which were selling at RM10 each!! So cheap! N they're all so pwetty! Hehe..I got 2!!! =P. Ah...today's the last day of the week for me to online. So sad...all bcuz of my dominating sister. If it wasn't becuz of her, I would've enjoy myself onlining tomoro! Oh well...um..rytez..today's my mum's birthday! Hehe...nice...I wanted to make her something but she never lets me! So evil...N I owe her a dinner + RM10. Hmm...okayz...sure..one day..hehe...Ryteza...oopsie...guess I gotta go now. Byez!

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke

Dead tired...

Ah...the comfort of my home sweet home. I'm finally back from my "balik kampung" journey. Feeling so tired...but still hyper. Dunno why. I'm expecting my mum OR dad to come yelling at me any minute by now to ask me to go sleep. *I hope not* I really want to stay online a little longer. As I'm behind my schedule and I really don't like my memory that fades as quickly as it comes. I have probably like...10 things I'm supposed to do once I go online but every single time I go online...*blank*..."What am I supposed to do again?" It's really annoying, come to think of it. As soon as I go offline...everything rushes back into my head and you'll find me whacking myself with a book. *just joking* I don't whack myself, but I do scold myself. I'll fell so geram with myself that I keep on scolding myself "stupid" till my mum thinks that I'm nuts or something. ARGH! I'm so bored...I miss someone...in fact...come to think of it...I don't only miss someone...I've been missing everyone!!! Yeah...KIM!!! TEDDY BEAR!!! EVA!!!! Y SO LONG NEVER CALL ME??? like they're gonna read this anyway. Hehe...psycho me. As usual. Ah...tomorrow's my last day online for the week. The next time I'm allowed to online is like...next Friday. Sad. Yes, my sister is still dominating my life. And it's probably a tradition to her to report every single thing that happened to me...such as...from whom I received my sms..(like I tell her that)...who called...and stuff..kinda annoying. Thank god she doesn't go online these days..if she ever read this stuff..my life is over. Oh well..malasnye I want to blog..guess I'll end it here. Byez ppl...

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke

Hurts

Tear drops. Swish. A cut in my heart, bleeding and hurting as I struggle to go on through the day. Smile. To hide my sorrow. WHY??? Why is he treating me this way? What have I done??? Why is he paying more attention to others and not to me? Does he not realize that I exist??? I've tried so many things to make him notice me, to make him realize that I'm always there for him, to make him realize that I really care about him. Didn't he realized that I'm always the last one, waiting for him? Then, he'll go chasing the others when they left him. I'm always the one following his trail behind. Hurts. I totally meant NOTHING to him. I know that. I can feel it. IF he dislike me 'cause of the incident at the hotel...please forgive me. I'm trying to protect you! If not...I don't know what would happen. But of cuz he will NEVER EVER read this entrie. Gosh...I really love him! More than anything else in the world. (except for my family, friends..bla bla bla...) Everytime I'm left out, I tried to communicate with him. Then, I know. Even if I'm pushed into his existance, even if we both are the only people in a room or even the world...I am...n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Looks like I can do nothing ryte now. I can't change the fact. I can only accept it and move on. Knowing that he is always thrust into my presence. And that he will never disappear from my life. Till the day I die. Serious. I believe that one day, his perspective towards me will change. As he grows mature each day. I know...someday...it'll happen.











What? Do u guys know who m I talking about? Tee hee...I know whoever's reading this might think that I'm talking bout my crush or something...wakakakak..like I'm ever stupid enough to write it online! Gosh...anyway...I'm talking bout my 2-year-old nephew that I love sooooooooo much!!! Yes, it's true. He's ignoring me. Total obvious ignoring me. He only 'have eyes' for my sister. Yeap. It does hurt. When you keep trying to talk to him but him ignoring you. It really hurts. Especially when he throws away your hand when he realizes it's not my sis. Especially when he runs not at me but at my sister. Especially when I'm sitting ryte in front of him and he RUNS looking for my sister n niece n nephew just to tell them that he like one car. And he never tell me a single thing. Or rather, he never utters a single word to me. It sucks. But, I'm wishing...and still wishing..that he'll change as he grows up. I really want him to know that I really care for him! That's how much I love him.

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke.
(She didn't say it. It's from the movie theme song.)

Haihz

Looks like I'm not that strong after all. Hehe...I'm not wakil for rejam lembing..I finally found out. Nevermind...I'm giving better people more energy! Hehe..I can't throw far. So..I think you get the drift. Not very disappointed. Weird me. Anyway, Kristin asked me and Kim to do high jump. I STILL CAN'T DO IT!!! Darn...I so really want to go OVER the yellow pole. The thing is...everytime the pole gets nearer...I just freak out! Gosh..I don't know why's that..but yeah..that's what happened. According to Jeff, my way of jumping can bring me serious injuries. Anyway, I'm addicted to high jump ryte now. Oh..I'm kinda bored now...what to do...what to say...aiyah...oklah...i know. I'm not in a very good mood these a days...dunno why...sighz..guess what? I figured out that...I'm already FREAKING OUT over my exams!! PLus all the work I haven't do! Including all the work a gathering is burdening me upon!!! ARGH! Then..i kena bullied by all my ketuas..for not being able to collect more money from my fellow librarians! They were practically "abusing" me. Sorry for all the seniors who are reading this...but it is SO NOT MY FAULT that those ppl are not paying up! SO?? Why are you guys so "mad" at me for??? Gosh...I'm so mad ryte now....*boiling*...almost lah..OMG! We haven't started anything for our UBS Project!! What are we gonna do??? Pn. Song will soooo totally kill us!!! We are so dead!!! Plus my Kimia Project which we have to hantar on 14/2/2005!! N it's not done yet! Ryte after holidays!! ARGH!!! So many things to do, so little time! gtg now! byez

Cross Country

Oh gosh. I haven't blogged for days...ryte. Anyway, today, instead of studying, students of SMKSBU went for 'merentas desa' a.k.a. cross-country. Well, as we are seniors now, we're supposed to run at around 9 plus. Okay, I dunno what to say...but..the semangat is in the air! At first The Dumpsters were all together, but all of us [please note that we exclude Jeff] got seperated. I mean to say, our dearest Kimster N Minster went running with full spirit unlike me, who is not suitable for running. After 15 minutes or so, my lungs were already burning. So I kinda..walked mostly of the 4.5 km thingy. And yet...I'm so tired + exhausted. Evaster was kinda behind me. She was even tired-er than me. Pity her. I only ran at the downward slopes and walked at the upward slopes. It's really tiring. And yet...I walk alone. Oops. Gtg Now. Later!

Untitled

I went to school today for lembing practice. Oh well..the first time of the day when i tried to 'lembing-ing' it didn't work. What I meant was; the lembing didn't pacak on the ground. Pity...then I didn't wanna gave up cuz after so many years I finally get to wakil my house for something. And Rejam Lembing is really kewl! So, I kept doing and doing and doing...until I noticed my frens all did it. I mean, only four of us there at that time and everyone got the hang of it means I'm the only one. I was so stressed out cuz...haihz..if you're there you'll feel the stress. Anyway, it's kewl...so..after doing some "looking" and "poking", I tried out a technique. IT WORK! I was so damn glad. Finally..after almost an hour or so of throwing, picking, screaming, frustrating and stuff...*sighing ever so happily* Alryte..enough crapping. Hmm..nothing much today actually. Yesterday also quite boring. Nothing much to talk about. Oh, FYI, I fell down on Wednesday. It was damn funny! I haven't fell down in years..excluding the time I always trip on the stairs in skool. Oh well..the bad thing is, I sprained my arm when I fell. Sad. It hurts though. Till yesterday, it didn't hurt that much anymore. By today, I think it healed; not fully but...oklar...can be 'used'. Haha..If you guys wanna know how I fell, come and ask me lah..I very lazy to write in here...As for the Library Gathering..nothing much as usual...jz the performance paling menarik! Haha..I won't tell you ppl..wanna know? Wait till it's over than I'll say. Nolah..see lah..I got mood to tell you or not. Hehe...something is really wrong with me these a days. Very wrong. I know something's wrong. But no idea what got me. I'm getting evil-er and evil-er each day. My so-called 'goodness in me' is so totally gone from me. Well, I still help ppl and stuff, but all my sarcasm and what-you-call-that...my erm..kindness...all disappeared into thin air. Oh well...guess that's what happened when you reach Form 4 and getting the pressure and stuff. Btw, I m now the Naib Bendahari for the Library Board. Means I've got 2 shocks of my life twice adi in one month. Oh plus another one. The lembing. Shock again when I was in the house team. So means...3 shocks of my life in a month. Let's hope if I ever get shocks again in the next few months..it better be good. Just like this month. It's good enough to me. Oh well..happy and contented with my life. N i'm not bragging okay? To those who think I am. I'm jz 'revealing' my feelings' in this online journal. That's the whole point of having a blogger. Duh. Oopsie..looks like I gotta go now. C ya ppl! Byez..Cheerio selalu!

*KBSM AJK logging off*
*Blur Club President logging off*
*Weird Club President logging off*
*The Dumpsters President logging off*