Hurts

Tear drops. Swish. A cut in my heart, bleeding and hurting as I struggle to go on through the day. Smile. To hide my sorrow. WHY??? Why is he treating me this way? What have I done??? Why is he paying more attention to others and not to me? Does he not realize that I exist??? I've tried so many things to make him notice me, to make him realize that I'm always there for him, to make him realize that I really care about him. Didn't he realized that I'm always the last one, waiting for him? Then, he'll go chasing the others when they left him. I'm always the one following his trail behind. Hurts. I totally meant NOTHING to him. I know that. I can feel it. IF he dislike me 'cause of the incident at the hotel...please forgive me. I'm trying to protect you! If not...I don't know what would happen. But of cuz he will NEVER EVER read this entrie. Gosh...I really love him! More than anything else in the world. (except for my family, friends..bla bla bla...) Everytime I'm left out, I tried to communicate with him. Then, I know. Even if I'm pushed into his existance, even if we both are the only people in a room or even the world...I am...n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Looks like I can do nothing ryte now. I can't change the fact. I can only accept it and move on. Knowing that he is always thrust into my presence. And that he will never disappear from my life. Till the day I die. Serious. I believe that one day, his perspective towards me will change. As he grows mature each day. I know...someday...it'll happen.











What? Do u guys know who m I talking about? Tee hee...I know whoever's reading this might think that I'm talking bout my crush or something...wakakakak..like I'm ever stupid enough to write it online! Gosh...anyway...I'm talking bout my 2-year-old nephew that I love sooooooooo much!!! Yes, it's true. He's ignoring me. Total obvious ignoring me. He only 'have eyes' for my sister. Yeap. It does hurt. When you keep trying to talk to him but him ignoring you. It really hurts. Especially when he throws away your hand when he realizes it's not my sis. Especially when he runs not at me but at my sister. Especially when I'm sitting ryte in front of him and he RUNS looking for my sister n niece n nephew just to tell them that he like one car. And he never tell me a single thing. Or rather, he never utters a single word to me. It sucks. But, I'm wishing...and still wishing..that he'll change as he grows up. I really want him to know that I really care for him! That's how much I love him.

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke.
(She didn't say it. It's from the movie theme song.)