I. Am. Bored. School is about to start in exactly a week from now. I'm having great times with Iman almost every single day. He he he. Now I feel rather attached to her. Pity she'll be leaving me all alone when September comes. *sniff sniff* (No, Iman dear, I still can't get over that fact.) I'm not ready for school, for A levels, and for whatever that lies on my path. Unfortunately, almost everyone is already racking their brains and working hard. If I don't start soon, I'll soon turn into a lazy pig with no intentions to live life. That's pretty bad. Sigh...

a tribute to my goody good friend.

First of all, Happy Birthday to my dearest friend, Jeff. (And also to U Shen and Yung Sen) Today's post is pretty lame. So for those who are not interested in reading lame stuff for now...you might as well leave. Anyway, I remember I posted one entree a few weeks ago talking about friends and best friends. I've only introduced my closest girlfriends. Today, however, I'm going to introduce my closest guy friends. I'll start with...

Jeff. He is my cool buddy. We met when I was in Form 3 and he in Form 2. Somehow...he became my confidant as well. I can tell him almost everything. Tee hee. Well, he doesn't complain! Anyway, he's a great guy. Very self-disciplined, sporting, determined and ambitious. Plus, he's a smart kid. Great listener and somehow, he's always good in cheering me up. *winks* He's got a weird sense of humour (SORRY JEFF), but thank goodness I would normally understand. Even if I don't understand, it makes me laugh because I don't understand and it makes no sense! (oh dear, I'm starting to crap. XD!) He's good in motivating. ...well...seeing that he always finds a way to motivate me when I'm this close to giving up. Also, it's actually very nice because I get to compete with him. I take him as my challenge. It's very cool. He's nice. And a fun person. =D!

Louis. My (pretty much) childhood friend. To me, he's like a brother I never had. And he's funny! tee hee...He NEVER fails to make me laugh out loud. Even if it's the day BEFORE our SPM History paper. That's how crazy he is. He's indeed a really nice guy. He is weird, though. Psycho. Whenever you're down...you can always look for him! And yes, he is still trying to beat me in Maths and History. He's reliable even though he was a pretty useless prefect in school. Lol. Ah...we don't talk every single day but when we do get in touch, we'll know what's going on. *winks* A good friend. Blur but NEVER innocent. And definitely, Louis is someone I won't forget. Mr. Detachable Strawberries. ^^

There! My goody good friends. There is someone else in my mind...but I'm not quite sure if I can regard him as a friend...and I'm not sure if I should put him up here. Rather risky, if you ask me. Hmm...think think...

So, do you have guys as close friends? I'm sure you do. =)

the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006.

In exactly 6 days from today, Sze Min will be in Australia, opening up doors of possibilities and accomplishing her goals and dreams. I'm indeed happy to know that she is going to her future. One day, she'll make it to the front cover of the newspapers! =D! I spent my whole day with her for...you can say...the last time. I mean, I won't be going out with her for the next few years, that's for sure! And these (refer to pictures) are the results of going out with the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006. We watched 'Kung Fu Mah Jong' at Times Square, and it's pretty cool. The only disadvantage was we were seated right below the screen. I felt as if either my eyes were gonna pop out or my neck was gonna break! The movie is quite funny. Rather senseless but funny. After that, we walked over to Tze Hui's place at Federal Hotel to hang out and have pre-dinner. It's cool to have a friend living in a hotel you know. ;)

The lamb chop looks tempting...too bad Shin Yi was too far away.


MY pre-dinner. Delicious, isn't it? ;)

Ah...it's been so long since I last went out with these people! Now that all of us are seperated, leading our own paths, venturing our own journeys...it's pretty hard for us all to get together and just have fun. Things are simply different. I won't see most of these people for quite some time now. Like Sze Min and some others, they're going away...thousands of miles away from home (and me!) and the chances of seeing them again are...very slim indeed.

From left, standing: Sophia, Koh, Me, Tze Hui, Sze Min, Kim.

From left, bottom: Shin Yi, Natty, Eva.


We psycho-ians in Tze Hui's toys' room. It's a lovely room, without us blocking the view, actually.

This is Tze Hui's living room.

Right now, I need Sze Min's house address because I need to post her a letter before she leaves for Australia. SZEMIN!!! (tee hee...forgive me for the screaming).

spring cleaning!

Clean, clean, and clean! Finally...my room is spotless once again!!! Unfortunately, I got hurt in the process but it is very minor. So for those who are hoping that I'd die or something...wish again! LOL!

I'm going back to school soon. I don't mean school as in, SMK SBU but...I mean...I'm going to start my A levels soon. No, I'm not going to college. I'm going to an international school. =) I don't think it'll be any different compared to other colleges as I'll still be studying the same thing. Sigh...The start of February marks the end of my care-free days. So long were the days when I could actually sit in front of the television for hours. So long were the days when I could sit down and play sudoku for hours. So long were the days when I could do anything else to waste my time and pass the day. Now, here comes the moment when I am SUPPOSED to dedicate myself to work, study, and books. Once more. Well, learning is a life-long progress. Not that I mind. It's getting pretty boring at home...rotting, doing nothing. Stare at the television and drool...I rather prefer to do something useful, like study! I know, I'll definitely miss my days doing nothing at all. Hey! Life is not a bed of roses. You know that. The twist and turn in life are the best part for they bring excitement, adventure and passion! =D!

Tee hee...my mind unravels once more!

BALL-ista!

Monday
ballista ACTUALLY means a catapult for hurling large stones. For this post, ballista has got nothing to do with what I'm about to tell. You see, the only 'large stone' that was 'hurled' through the air was...A FOOTBALL! Instead of entering the unseen goal, the ball simply hit an innocent on a swing. Guess who's the innocent?...No, it's not me. It's...IMAN AZMAN!!! *wiping tears of laughter* I'm evil. I'm not supposed to laugh but what are friends for??? ;)

Okay, the actual incident happened this way. I went for a walk with dear ol' Iman as usual. After we finished one round, Iman suggested that we go to the playground to sit on the swings. There were kids around playing football. As we were sitting down on the swings, Iman was saying these exact words, "If I ever get hit by the ball, I swear I'll kill someone." So, she swung. I wasn't swinging because I didn't like the creaking sound my swing made whenever I moved. Less than 5 minutes after she said those words, she got hit by the ball directly in her face, mid-air. I was...speechless and stunned. The whole playground went silent. The kids were..well, if I had a camera at that moment, I'd snap their faces! It's a real-life shock thingy! LOL! The only sound you can hear was Iman's slow 'ows' and the birds chirping. XD! Long story short, we went back home telling everyone about it. It is indeed something I'll never forget.

Tuesday
Another ordinary day. Just that today...I finally had my hair cut that I had postponed for so long! (Ever since the day I finished SPM.) My new haircut is actually not much different. It's just 3 inches shorter. I wanted it shorter, in fact, but my hair stylist said it's better if it's longer. *shrugs* Seeing that my friends always think it's useless whenever I say I want to go for a hair cut. They think I just merely trimmed my hair. Now, 3 inches is A LOT! My hair now is neither long nor short. Again, why am I boring you with my nonsense...never mind. I didn't get to do any shopping today. Unfortunately. I'm missing those lovely pair of shoes already! Tonight is Il Divo's concert! Pity I missed it. Oh well, Iman can still tell me all the details when she gets back this Sunday. From Japan. She's flying tomorrow by the way. Not that you'll be interested, but just had to type it out. For some reasons that I myself don't know what.

Ahh...happy birthday, KIM!!! =)

window shopping!

Shopping! What is YOUR definition of shopping?

Let's see, for me, shopping means...I can spend hours in a building (with shops of course), walking and looking and searching...and yet, I can come out of the building buying NOTHING. Or, I can come out looking as if I bought the whole store! It's pretty uncommon. [Pssst...actually, I think it's rather time wasting walking around like an idiot not knowing what to buy but...I AM a girl. *shrugs*]

I spent half of my day today, window shopping. Actually, the original plan is to really buy something...but...unfortunately, I didn't. I'm very bad at making decisions. The thing is, I can't make up my mind whether I want to get those lovely pair of shoes...or the other lovely pair of shoes. Annoying, innit? In the end, I simply gave up and decided to buy them some other time. Sad.

I'm sure I'll be going back there this week! I simply must get those lovely pair of shoes! I'll be ecstatic when I get my hands on them!

what if...?

What if...today is the last day of your life? There will be no tomorrow for you...and you'll be leaving everyone behind. What would you do? How will you spend your remaining hours? Alone? Or with as many friends and family members around you?

A thought struck me. A random person...maybe me or you, waking up to a new day, getting ready for a new start. Going about doing our daily chores. Suddenly, something happens. Something terrible happens. Next thing you know, you're six feet under and all your friends and family members are mourning for you. Why? You wonder. I realized, no one can answer that particular question. Short, but it holds a thousand meanings.

IF today is the last day of my life, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. It would be hard for me to accept that news. On the other hand, I might not even know it is going to be my last day on Earth. I might just...die without a notice or something. That's more saddening. Well, I guess...I won't be any different. I'll wake up at the crack of dawn and spend the whole morning to myself. Thinking about all the things I have done throughout the past years of my life. Thinking about everybody I'm leaving behind. Wondering if it matters to them. Thinking about all the things I could have done if only I have the chance to live longer. Thinking about things I'm never going to do, things I'm never going to experience. Afterwards, I'll join friends that I can possibly meet in such a short notice. I don't exactly know what I am going to do with them, but their presence will forever stay in my memory. Maybe we'll conquer the whole of Starbucks or something...talking and maybe reminiscing about the past. Tears and laughter will definitely fill the whole place. When night falls, I'll spend my remaining hours with my family. A last dinner together.

Sorry, I can't seem to go on. I find it hard to end my life there and then. God knows why am I posting this entree. Why am I talking about death is also something to ponder upon. Psycho Zun San. Not to worry...Í'm not going to kill myself for whatever reasons. Somehow, I simply can't think of a reason why I would want to end my life over something. LIFE MOVES ON. There. That's a good enough reason to STAY ALIVE. Hee hee..don't you think so?

Nobody knows when their journey will end. We don't know what God has in store for us. Rather intriguing, when you think about it. Because...I'm a very curious person even though I don't show it. My curiosity comes crawling to me when thoughts start popping into my brain, making me think about it. I'm weird. I really think I am. Why? Because I think about life and death, I think about humans nature, I think about mother's nature, I think about funny and weird stuff...
All the sudden, I don't feel that weird anymore. I KNOW that there are people out there who are thinking about the same things that I'm curious about. Interesting.

Goodbye Da...

Da's gone! She's off to New York, to start a new life. I'm happy for her. Although she's never been my shoulder to cry on, or anything like a friend would normally do. But she did brought lots of laughter in my life. And I will never, EVER forget the traumatic thing she terrified me with. (This, I would not reveal. It will remain a secret between Da, Iman and me.) That traumatic...thing is a hell of an experience I will always remember, until my dying day. So..that's that. No more crazy Imelda(s) in my life. For the time being. At least I know she's an email away. No matter how far she is, I know I still can reach her. :) BUT first, I need to find her email address. Now, where did I put it...? he he...

Well, life moves on. I really do hope she'll be happy. Somewhere, somehow...she'll find her happiness.

Lazy Post

First of all, I want to thank Kim for that really long and honest answer. For the rest of you...aren't you going to let me know your point of view? Come on...say something! :D

Anyway, this post is to introduce my other close friends whom I did not mention in the previous post. These people are Kim, Ji Hsia, Shin Yi, and Sze Min.

I don't feel like blogging tonight. So...see ya tomorrow!

have you ever...?

Have you ever imagine life without friends? Have you? Well, I tried. And it's not easy when every now and then, my lesbian partner smack me for not apparent reason. XD! (Lesbian partner means Iman) I was watching The Grudge (English version) with Iman when we both (simultaneously) yelled, screamed, whimpered and hid behind the pillows throughout the whole movie. It's fun actually, when I think about it. Then a thought struck me. What if...I had no friends? Nobody to share my laughter, my tears, my happiness, my sorrow, my fears, my dreams, my hopes...etc. Oh dear. I got pretty depressed thinking about it. Then, I looked at my own life. I have friends. Friends that I love and who love me as well. Or so I hope. I smiled discreetly despite the scary background music and Iman's constant "oh-my-god"s brought me back to reality. Then I started screaming with her again.

Dear all,
What do you think of the term 'Best Friends'? Seriously, think about it. Answer me (if you care), truthfully. I've been through that stage when I thought that...best friends are forever. That nothing in the world can severe the ties between best friends. How wrong. I was...you can say, misled...by the figment in my head. I had to figure it out all by myself. People, no matter how close, will drift apart when they're far away from each other. I lost 'touch' with my own friends when I skipped a year in primary. That was my first...'realization dawned upon me' kind of thing. When the years stretched, the gap between my old friends and myself became bigger. In the end, they acknowledged me as someone else, as their senior and the warm cheerful laughter I used to share with them vanished. Oh well, I got over that quickly when I found that they are not the only friends I've got. Now, I'm happy with who I am and who I have around me. Of course, I never believed in best friends after that. It's just...too cliché. It's too good to be true. I resolved to having close and trustworthy friends around me. I'm quite glad to say that I do have a handful of close friends, consisting of guys and girls. Of course, girls overpower the guys in number but...all the same, they're all close in my heart. Well, I have to say...I don't tell them EVERYTHING but once in a while, I do bare my soul. ;) Today, let me introduce my closest girlfriend and my other close friends.

Iman Azman. Yes, she's my closest friend. More like my confidant. Of course, I have yet to tell her EVERYTHING, but there's still time. ;) [I'm stealing this sentence from you, Iman..] My life turned upside down the moment she appeared in my math tuition with Puan Goh, about 6 years ago. That's a pretty long time, don't you think? It's not that we clicked the moment we met...somehow, we gradually grew on each other and lookie at us now. 2 crazy teenagers with a long way to go. We both may not tell each other everything but...somehow, we know. :)

Devis. She's my Indian twin. Even though we're apart, we still find time to let each other know what's happening in our lives. I open up to her...and she opens up to me. Again, we might not know every single details but vaguely...we get the picture.

Wai Ling. She's my Chinese twin, my one and only yo-bo! (Yo-bo means darling.) Nothing can change the fact that she's the cutest and funniest thing walking on earth! For me, mind you. We are psychics and we feel what each other feel. The best part is she'll always be my good pal, good friend and my favourite sms buddy. Tee hee..

Elina & Imelda. Both of them are somewhat special. In their own ways. I might not have confided in them or vice versa but...they are the unique, cheerful, bubbly friends in my life.

The rest of my close girlfriends will always stay as close. Their names may not be in this post, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten them or pushing them aside. So...yes, that's pretty much about the people who evolve in my life. I haven't mention the guys yet but it'll be up shortly.

Now...tell me, friends.
Have you ever imagine a life without your friends? Do you believe in best friends? Can you overcome the fear that you might lose your best friend over a fight...forever? Do you believe in friendships after a big, serious fight? Can you put your resentment behind you and start anew? Can you forgive and forget the past? Can you???

Tell me. Honestly. Let me know what you think.

Just another day, started out like any other...

Another Friday, another day. My days pass by, just like that. Today, I met with some of my friends. Or rather, my so-called juniors. You see, I went to school with my mom, to pick my sister up. While waiting, I stopped and talked to a long time friend. After that, a lot of my..."juniors" came and said 'Hi'. Very nice of them, though. Well, frankly I think they don't have a choice but...they're not that bad, are they? ;) After that, I spent almost the entire day, wrapping books in Iman's place. Amazing huh? They're all Kak Nik's books by the way. It's fun! Hee hee...

Have you ever feel like being alone, in the midst of a crowd? I'm sure you do. When you simply lost interest in whatever's going on at the moment. I did...and still do. Ungracefully as ever, I'll just plop down on a chair (if there is) and gaze away, to a distant place...far far away. And then, there'll be someone who is caring enough and ask if I'm alright. Of course, I wouldn't want to spoil the mood, so, reluctantly, I'll put on a smile and say yes, I'm perfectly fine. After that, I'll join the crowd. Of course, there are times when I'm simply tired and just plop down to take a break. That, I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. So, you just have to know when I am in a 'lone ranger' mood or just tired. I don't know why I'm scribbling this out but...it kind of popped into my head. Forgive me.

Hey! Lookie here, I've got some photos from Singapore. If you're interested, that is. :)

I never like posting pictures this way. Do you know how suffering to actually use this thingy? Never mind. I'm just not used to it. I'll put in more pictures...SOON!

My resolutions

So far, I can only think of these resolutions. Not completely done but, this will do. :)

My Resolutions.

1) Be nice to everybody. (And I mean it, EVERYBODY!)

2) Make sure I eat a well-balanced meal this year. (I need to lose weight...and grow taller!)

3) Study hard for my A-levels.

4) Eat less chocolates. (Mind you, that's VERY unlikely to happen. But I can try.)

5) Widen my range of vocabulary.

6) Start a new life in my new school.

7) Find out who I really am inside. (I want to be who I want to be.)

8) Stop procrastinating!


These are all I can think of, now. There are more, actually. I think. Really hope I can fulfill these resolutions without any difficulties.
Elina is in U.K. now. Really hope she's fine. She's one of a kind. No one can compare to her. A unique person, she has never failed to cheer me up. Never will I forget her.

She's leaving!

Elina's leaving tomorrow!!! She's going to England! And I won't see her till..I grow old! Okay not that bad...Maybe a year or two? Or even longer? Sigh...I won't be able to see her off at the airport tomorrow. I'll miss her like nuts. Oh no! Elina, you won't be reading this but..do take care k? Hope you'll write. Speaking of which, I'm going to message her for the very last time now. Sniff sniff...*cries*!!!

This new year...

Happy New Year! So long, 2006! I'll miss you! You definitely brought a lot of sweet memories, great achievements, great agony, great sorrows and great learnings. I learnt so much that I can only hope to carry them in my heart and treasure the moral in it. For the past 16 years of my life, I never made resolutions for my own. Mentally, one or two might have past cross my mind, but obviously, soon forgotten. This year, however, I feel like making my first ever list of resolutions, which of course, I will be revealing it to you soon. Mind you, I'm hoping that whoever reads this...you got to make sure I KEEP my resolutions. So, this new year...I'm going to try to make the best of it. Right. Well, I don't have my resolutions ready now, so..be patience. I'll post it up when I am done thinking about it. :) School's starting soon. I feel so...out of place. I miss being in school, I miss going back to school every single day just to see my friends again! Sigh...I feel so old now. Poor me. I don't want to grow up! Can I stay here, stay as I am..like this..forever? Nonsense. :( I'm drifting to dreamland again...