This is for you, dearest Iman.

I know nothing I say or do will help me. But this is a song which I know you'll understand the meaning I'm trying to convey through it.


The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity,
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foreseek the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace,Serenity

I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry


Ironically...Big girls DO cry. And I'm one of them. With a 'broken tap'. Know what I mean? Sigh...

Over the moon

I must be crazy. My results are officially coming out on the 16th of August, and here am I. Sitting here as if nothing is going to happen. What is wrong with me??!



Whatever happen to my adrenalin rush? The one that keeps your blood pumping, due to nervousness and fear and the million other emotions that you feel at the same time. I'm not feeling scared, in the least. I'm supposed to!!! Well, not scared. But, you know...the excitement, the fear, the suspense...or something!



That's it. A levels in my school is doing me no good. I shall prohibit anyone else from taking A levels in my school. It's for your own good.

The waterfall trip.

Like I promised a few days ago, I'll write about the trip today. When I reached school this morning, the guys were already playing football, in the corridor of the classes. I was just holding on to the wall, in case the building collapses. While we were waiting for our principal to arrive, all of us, including the teachers were playing football at the basketball court. It was good, all of us, playing together.

Then, it was time for us to take off. So, off we go! On our journey to the waterfall. I tell you, it's a beautiful place! (This is what you get for staying in a city for way too long!)

Beautiful, isn't it?

After climbing...let's say...about 300 steps or more...we finally reached our destination. This time, it's a smaller waterfall...like this:

All the girls waded into the river towards the waterfall. I was the only girl in sport shoes and therefore, did not plan to get wet. Besides, it is a hell lot of trouble to get wet and then STAY wet the entire time. So, there I was, standing on dry ground going *click! click!* It was fun, either way. Take a look.

the girls and Miss Nitya

aren't they just having fun? =)

here comes the boys.

After a while, Miss Nitya decided to ventured further into the woods, to see how far the waterfall is. Apparently, as I am already a clumsy person, going uphill was a problem for me. So, you can imagine me...hysterically tried to go uphill with the help of my dear friend behind me, just to support me in case I fall. Going up was crazy. Jumping on rocks to get across waterfall is crazier. I slipped, (more than 10 times probably) and fell once. Amazingly, I was laughing at my clumsiness and everyone else was just staring at me with their hearts out. Throught the entire journey, everyone was watching out for me. Practically, I was the most dangerous member in the group. Inattendu et dangereux. I was lucky I had guys to watch out for me. The other 2 girls in the group is fragile enough without me weighing them down. Of course, apart from my Biology teacher...She just rocks! Whee! This is US!

The group.

Then, the horror came. Going downhill. *gulp* Well, fortunately, it wasn't a very difficult thing for me, seeing how I'm a bit cleverer this time. Lol.

At the end of the day, all of us were just dead tired. We went back to school to find boxes of Dominoes' Pizzas, ready to be eaten! Whee!

-THE END-

P.S. Please forgive me, I am simply too lazy to think about the ending for this post.

Let me just end it this way. *hee hee* Till then.

Bits and pieces of here and there.

Just finished video shooting on Sunday. Got terribly sunburnt it's not funny. I will post some pictures later on, when I see fit. This week is my last week in school. After this, I'll be having a month long holidays. Seriously, it's going to be a long holiday. Then again, when I think of the tests, assignments and studies I have to do during the one month holiday...it's not so long anymore. Yes, we (students in school) have been forewarned that there will be tests after the holidays. God bless. I already have an essay for Biology to write about. A 2000-words long essay. If I'm not mistaken, my essay is on "Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes, Causes and Effects". Something like that. Physics is still understandable for now. I have not reach the level where my brain just snap and become brain dead. Chemistry is also fine. Maths is taking on a different kind of turn. We finally finish Core 3 Mathematics (really fast!) and won't be starting Mechanics until after the holidays. Small test tomorrow. If you're wondering why am I still here, blogging...let me assure you, I have no idea! On Thursday, my school will be having a little picnic sort of trip to some waterfall somewhere. I guess it'll be cool. And we, Biology students, will be heading to Carlsberg sometime in October. Will produce great pictures then, hopefully.

Till then.

1. Do you ever lie about your age?
Well, maybe once...or twice. =D!

2. Do you prefer "sensitive boys"or "tough guys"?
I would prefer a balance of both. I mean, who wants any guy who is TOO sensitive or TOO tough?

3. Do you prefer blonde or dark haired guys?
Dark haired, please! But if I were to ever ever end up with a blonde guy...well, can't be helped I suppose...*shrugs*

4. Are you currently single?
Hmm...let's see... that's for me to know, and for you to find out. =P!

5. How many things in your past do you regret?
I don't know. But I don't plan to regret it.

6. Do you have a best friend?
Well...not exactly. I believe I said sometime before that I no longer believe in best friends...

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A nurse. ;)

8. Who was the last person you hugged?
I think it was Shara. Or was it Iman...? Hmm..either way, I hugged the both of them.

9. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Broken...hmm...maybe. Maybe not.

10. Have you ever thought about having plastic surgery?
Nope. Never thought about it, and never will.

11. Do you like your life?
Well...yes. I mean, nothing's wrong with it. :)

12. Do you shop at Hollister?
Where?

13. Has one of your friends ever stolen a girlfriend from you?
Girlfriend as in my goody goody friend? I think that happened when I was ancient.

14. Has one of your friends ever stabbed you in the back?
I guess so. There must be someone. I'm human.

15. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
I don't know exactly. Maybe I have more girl friends. Does it matter?

16. How long have you had friendster?
4 years I should think.

17. Have you ever cheated on someone?
Um...no.

18. Has anyone ever cheated on you?
Girl or guy? Well, no too I guess.

19. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
I wished I had!

20. What is one of your biggest fears?
Heigts. =/

21. Have you ever skipped class?
Yes. Form 4! How playful I was then...

22. Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
Not that I recall of...
23. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Not really but...maybe.

24. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Yes. ;)!

25. Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater"?
Hmm...well..depends.

26. Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out that you were right?Sometimes.

27. Do you ever wish you were famous?
In what sense? Oh yes yes.. hee hee!

28. Do u ever wish u were a woman?
In the process of becoming one but...I do enjoy staying young. =D!

29. Do you think men smell nice in cologne?
Depends on what cologne they're using. Some cologne just stink.

30.The moment of terror!
Tagging whoever who bothers doing this. :)

*I have to say, I'm terribly bored. You can't blame me!

I've been tagged. Twice.

INSTRUCTION :

Colour the statements green that are true to you.
Colour the statements orange that you WISH are true.

Leave the fibs alone.Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.
Lets begin.

I’m 170cm tall.
I don’t know what I want at the moment.
I’m not happy.
I hate my friends.
I hate my life.
I hate my grades.
He drives.
I’m bored of driving.
I have a white handbag.
I love dancing.
I go clubbing every week.
Shopping is bullshit.
I have a tattoo of a star.
I got my navel pierced.
I have friends that take drugs.
90% of my friends smoke.
I think I’m going to die before my friends that smoke.
The last time was. (Huh?)
I still hang out with my ex, even though our break up was rather nasty.
I’m studying Fashion.
I have a business running.
I hate cartoons.
I hate someone.
I have 10 Guess handbags.
I buy CLEO every month.
My parents doesn’t know about my blog.
I have an iPod.
I don’t have faith in the current “one”.
My college mates knows about my blog.
I wanted to be a fashion designer.
I love rock emo bands.
I hate it when people cancel last minute meet ups.
I’m a rebel.
I’m starting to like wearing dresses.
I don’t believe in love.
High school was filled with drama.
My parents have faith in me.
I’ve bought shoes this month.
A blogger bitched about me before.
I hate sports.
I heart Italian food.
I hate meeting new people.
I hate nail polish.
The mother bear gives me hugs.
People would start appreciating me.
High school was the worst time of my life.
I have red hair.
One Utama is my second home.
I miss hanging out with the bloggers.
I’m a guy.
I’m scared of my Biology exam which I’m going to face tomorrow.
I hate vacations.
We’ll last.
I believe in long distance relationships.
I’m going to get high and smoke weed in US.
I’ve robbed an old lady.
Host a talk show.
That Guess watch.
I’m starting to like applying make-up.
I was a tomboy.
At time I think I still am a tomboy.
I love bitching about people behind their backs.
I still have a best friend.
I have a cat.
I hate surprise parties.
I hate planning parties.
I’m hot.
I’m a sinner.
I’ve got a DS light.
I have a Wii.
I can live without music.
Video games are a waste of time.
I miss the father bear.
I love being in love.
I know how to cook.
I have 100% freedom.
Boys are assholes.
I miss Pn Hamidah. (Who is that?)
I hate Math.
I’m happy with what I have.
I love horror films.
I slept in my parents’ room for 3 days after watching Freddy-Krugger when I was a kid.
My old friends keep in touch with me.
I don’t read newspapers.
The news is such a waste of time.
Blogging is a waste of time.
I hate animals.
I can’t live without make-up.
I curse like a pirate.
I’m happy with my 11 year old car. (I wish I have a car)
I hate people that are smart.
I love Orange juice.
I can’t drink for nuts.
I believe that everyone in their teens have lost their virginity.
I’ve got a new phone.
I’m going to get a new pair of shoes by the end of this month.
I love swimming.
I haven’t worked out since March.
I think I’m fat.
I love my friends and family.

I've been tagged.

Blogger Idham has pledged to donate RM 127.00 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage in Bangi for every tag completed before 26 August 2007. It’s so simple, all you need to do is to complete any 17 sentences from the 27 listed below (that’s the tag) and drop Idham a comment over at the tag’s original page here.

This tag is for a charity cause!

1. A person is only as good as his heart.
2. Friendship is always bliss.
3. To love is to care.
4. Money makes me .......
5. I miss being a kid.
6. My way of saying I care is by .............................
7. I try to spread love and happiness by................
8. Pick the flowers when they blossom.
9. To love someone is to .............
10. Beauty is only skin deep.
11. When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was ..............
12. When I was twenty one, I remember.........................
13. I am most happy when I'm me.
14. Nothing makes me happier than seeing happiness itself.
15. If I can change one thing, I will change nothing.
16. If smiles were to cure , then I would heal everyone in the world.
17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could erase discriminations?
18. If you want to .............then you have to ................
19. Money is not everything but without money, we have nothing.
20. The most touching moments I have experienced is when I see babies come into the world.
21. I smile when I'm bliss.
22. When I am happy, I laugh.
23. If only I don't have to ..............., then.........................
24. The best thing I did yesterday was...........................
25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title, "Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow"
26. One thing I must do before I die is to love and be loved, for the very last time, alive.
27. Doing this meme, I feel like ............................

I'm tagging:

Everyone who has a blog. Including those in my friends' list. By doing this, you are contributing RM127 to the Darul Izzah Orphanage.

*Makes me think. I'm pretty sure my words are straight from my heart. It's been a long while...

What luck.

Contrary to Jesse McCartney's song, "Best Day of My Life", yesterday...wasn't my best. You see, I've been going to Putrajaya since Friday for rehearsals. The concert is happening today, Sunday. Every night, we finished at about midnight. By the time we actually leave Putrajaya, it was already almost 12.30am. And by the time we reached KL, it was already almost 1am. Frustrating, isn't it? That's beside the point. The thing is, we have to wait for 2 hours before we're supposed to go up stage and perform. Do you feel my 'pain'? The boredom...oh, how it kills! So, as usual, yesterday was pretty much the same. THEN, comes the suffering. I was attacked by sharp jolts of pain in my stomach and no, it's not I-need-to-use-the-toilet pain. It's this annoying pain that I'm sure most of you experienced it before. The one that comes suddenly and ceases...and then returns with full force. Unfortunately, giddiness and nauseating comes in the package as well. I was cursing because, I'm so so far away from home. If it had happened at home, it wouldn't be too bad because I'm at home.

If you were there, you'd be able to see me muttering to myself, cursing under my breath..etc. I think the pain overtook my brain. Because, I was striking a bargain with my stomach ache. You can imagine the ridiculous situation taking place. Well, everything was fine...until I reached KL. My friend dropped me off at a Petronas station as my parents were waiting for me there. I got into the car, finally thanking my lucky stars because I'm one step closer to home...when suddenly, disaster came crashing down.

The.Car.Won't.Start. AH!!!!! Apparently, the battery died. We have no other choice but to try to get home with a cab. Again, visualize this scene:
4 people; 3 dressed for home, 1 dressed in a funny looking dress (me). Standing at the side of the road, trying to catch a cab. God was merciful, for we did catch a cab. I finally reached home at about 1.30am.

Home sweet home. Everything was alright after that.

Thank God.

The concert tonight will be live on TV. RTM 1, I think. But if any of you harbour any hope of seeing me on TV, give it up. We won't be performing until late at night, about 11 pm. The end of the show. What 'bliss'. Good luck to me. I hope I can wake up tomorrow, in time for school. Bless me.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

"I am sorry." One of the hardest phrase in life.

I realized that it's hard for me to apologize to certain things. Somehow, saying those words was difficult, even when I know I'm wrong. Yes, those around me might disagree, seeing that I say sorry most of the time just because.

For example, I had an argument with my mom just the other day. Of course, out of anger, I said something that I really did not mean. The moment I let it slipped, I regretted saying it AT ALL! I knew that I hurt my mom real bad the minute I said those words. Unfortunately, I can't take it back. In my head, I was replaying those moments and trying so hard to rectify the situation. Of course, in my head, I was brave and those words come easy to me. When I try to say it out loud...it won't come. The words are at the tip of my tongue and yet...they won't come.

That was when I knew, my pride is there after all. It runs in the family, I should think.

Oh, by the way, I did apologize to my mom. It was difficult, but I made myself do it.

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word."
Now I know what this means.

One down, one more to go.

Ah, the comforts of home sweet home. I've been practically standing almost the entire night with heels (not more than 2 inches, thank god!), moving, singing... Apparently, you don't feel the weariness creeping upon you during the show. It only comes CRASHING down on you after all *smiles* *shines* *waves*...you know what I mean.

Well, to be completely honest, I'm not sure how we did this time. According to Tunku Marina (our choir coordinator)...we could have done better. But, not to worry, we still have 2 July 2007 (Monday) to worry about, and I am already "looking forward" towards the last minute rehearsals etc.. Oh dear, just thinking about it tires me already.

Anyway, I had fun today. Tiring, but yeah..fun. The whole program was pretty good, I guess. No one died of boredom. *snickers*

2 July 2007, Monday
About 8pm
Istana Budaya
...Hmm...I have free tickets, if I'm lucky I get extra!
Smart casual.

Will I be seeing you? :)

CONCERTS!

Blurry, busy nights. Everything's happening so fast, there's no time to react. In about 20 hours from now, I'll be on stage in front of hundreds (I think) of people, performing for the launching of K.L. Festival 2007. Then, about 48 hours later, I'll be on stage, again, performing for another concert. This time, it's for...one of the many programs for this K.L. Festival 2007. Oh well, you're all welcome to watch.

30 June 2007
About 8 pm.
Istana Budaya.
First come, first serve basis for seats. Come early and you'll get good seats.
Smart casual will do. :)

Hope to see you. ;)!

ab initio

Ab initio... From the beginning, it means.

Why do I feel so alone?
Surrounded by a million people, I still can't find what I need most.
I can be in the company of the best of my friends...
And yet, still feel like I'm so far away.
I may be smiling outside, keeping a calm, composed, jovial façade.
But deep down inside of me, I'm crying...hoping and wishing fervently that someone will come and take me away.

Ab initio
I've felt that way.
I've always wonder why.
Maybe it's the inner part of me, seeking tranquility.
Seeking solace.
Seeking the happiness that comes with every sorrow and pain.
As they say, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'.
I have yet to experience that very notion.
One day, I'm sure I will.
Because to me, everything happens for a reason.

P.S.: I know this doesn't make much sense, but..do endure my rantings. I just need them out of my head, and soul.

More quizzes.

You are a Tomboy Girl!

Instead of flirting, you tend to pal around with the guys you crush on. And why not? You can hold your own in sports, video games, and gross out contests. Just make sure and suprise them with a touch of girlishness every once and a while. Then you'll be treated like the hottie you are - not like one of the guys.

What Kind of Girl Are You?

*Oh well, suits me! =P!

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

*Cool. I always thought I'm quite an introvert.

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Overall, you are very content in your life. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

*I'm disturbed??? Oh...maybe. But just really slightly. He he.

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,044,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

*That's little! I want to be worth much more! ~

You Are 29% Vain

Okay, so you're slightly vain from time to time, but you're not superficial at all. You are realistic. You know that looks matter. You just try to make them matter less.

How Vain Are You?

*Not very vain here, am I? Hmm..something's wrong! Ha ha!

To Remember Me

If you had read 'The Star' newspaper today, you'd have come across an article titled "The Circle of Life" (Starmag, page 23). I was deeply touched by this piece of article.

Robert Noel Test. He wrote an essay entitled To Remember Me. This essay drew international notice and inspire organ donors all over the world today. Let me share this essay with all of you, for those who did not read the papers today.

To Remember Me

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital busily occupied with the living and the dying.

At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instil artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed.

Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives. Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fibre and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain.

Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scartter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grom.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all my prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil.

Give my soul to God.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

*I hope this essay will inspire you. I do not know if someday I will be one lucky organ donor. Maybe someday, when I start to reminisce and come across this post...I might make my decision and be one. Whatever will come, will come. Now that I'm still young, I'll just keep on fighting...

The Quizzes

"Words are like manifestations of your emotions. So if you feel vindictive, your words will sting. If you feel benevolent, your words will heal. And when you feel cuckoo, your words wont make sense." - Quote from dearest Kak Nik. (How true!)

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

*Interesting. Well, can't really deny it. :)

You are Dark Chocolate

You live your life with intensity, always going full force. You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle. An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

*Finally found a quiz concerning chocolates! But...do you think this is true? I happen to LOVE dark chocolates! Mmmm...am I that intense? Only you can tell me, for I happen to be the most floaty person I know...

Words.

How much courage do you need just to tell someone you love them?
How brave are you to go up to someone and say the words "I'm sorry"?
How strong are you to hear words that will break your heart?
How confident are you, knowing if you had said the right words?

Words.
Words can say a million things. But what? What are the things most worth saying?
With words, you can hurt someone, you can bring someone to his/her knees, you can send reality spiraling into the core of their souls, you can make someone cry, and you can make someone jump with joy.

Words are powerful. They can change someone's life. Words can leave a very deep impact on a person, depending on how they are said. Words cannot be taken back, once they are said. Some words may be forgotten, and some words may be remembered, forever.

I believe that words play an important role in life, generally.

Then again, words...can be just words. With no meaning to it. *shrugs* Words. What do you say?

4 June 2007 looms even closer.

For some reasons, I just can't wait for my exams to be over. Instead of feeling fear and dread (as I have always expected), I simply can't wait to sit for the paper. And if you're trying to tell me that I'm totally ready to sit for the paper, you're wrong. I still find it so hard to "just do it". I can't seem to get the right words out.

*Sighs* Why does it always happen to me? Or rather, why does it always happen when it comes to hard core subjects? I can totally 'express' my answers for Math. Why can't it be the same for Biology or Chemistry? Physics maybe?

Maybe this is the reason why most of my peeps decide to drop these subjects.

Now I can tell them, I know exactly how they feel!

"You are not here to make me smile..."

strange and funny things

Strange and funny things happen all the time.

They do.

Just a few days ago, I got a phone call from Iman dearest, screaming in my ear, telling me that I am on the cover for Dewan Siswa's magazine for June edition.

I found out that...she wasn't pulling my leg.

If I could organize my feelings at that very moment, I would.

But I couldn't.

Why?

Because the emotions were cross-linking each other and there's no way to find out which one I'm feeling first and most.

A part of me was screaming "Why?".

Another part of me was feeling joy, somewhat.

Another part of me was just numb with disbelief.

Funny, don't you think?

*
*

*

I'm studying like a mad man. Please, oh God, please...expand my brain, will you? I need to fit in every single detail by this Sunday!

I don't want to die on Monday!

Ah...the horror that lurks around the corner everytime exams come close.

gone were the days...

*snip*

*swoosh*

*snip snip*

Gone...

Gone were the days when I used to look at my thick hair and wonder what happens if it's suddenly not so thick.

Gone were the days when I used to look at my long hair and wonder what happens if it's suddenly not so long.

Now...

Now my hair is thin.

Now my hair is short. Not so short, not so long either.

Quote from my hair dresser:

You lost 2 inches and 1 kilo! (of hair!) (2 inches literally, 1 kilo figuratively)

It's true, 2 inches off and he actually cut away most of my thick hair. SO yes, 1 kilo gone. Lol!

Today (22 May) is like any ordinary day.

Nothing special.

But, I'm looking forward to my next birthday.

Not because I enjoy growing old, mind you.

It's because I never felt truly happy... until today.

I feel so jovial and I have this funny urge to SPREAD my happiness!

I hope I did.

Tomorrow, I have to resume my daily torture: study!

Study until I lose my head, and my hair turns grey!

Wheeee! How wonderful!

Chocolates, anyone?

5...4...3...2...1...!

YAY!!! It's my birthday!!! Whee!!!
*Fireworks in the background*
*Corks popping out of wine bottles in all direction*
*Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeeeee...happy birthday to me!!!*

Ha ha ha! Yes, I'm having fun, sitting in front of this computer, celebrating on my own, my little birthday in my heart.
However, I want to thank EVERYBODY who wished me, all the same. I appreciate your wishes so much more. Seriously. It makes me happy! =D! I feel so light and merry...
Nothing much happened since well...it's only 9.22am.

Truth is, at this very minute, I CAME OUT!

So, imagine, this very minute 17 years ago inside the four walls of a cold hospital operating room...OUT CAME ME! =D!

What a pleasant surprise.

I'm just glad that I did not let the past 16 years of my life go wasted.

Each year was filled up quite well and appropriately.

No drugs, no juvenile crimes, no dropping out of school.

Yeah, I have to say I'm happy with my life.

My name is Zun San and I just turned 17. (Say goodbye to good sweet 16)

Throughout my life, I have never really done anything outstanding to the world or have spotlights following me around. In short, I lived a very simple life.

(Am still living the same ol' style!)

I have lovely parents and a (not so) lovely sister (I love you all the same!) ; my parents watched my sister and I grow up while I watched myself and my sister grow up.

I love to read.

However, ever since I was young, I was not exposed much to a place people called 'the library' and at that time, my parents were busy with work etc.. So, I practically grew up with normal reading materials and I didn't really read as much as I do now. I'm just very glad that knowledge is something everyone will gain as long as they live, because right now...I'm trying to catch up with everything I can get my hands on.

I love history.

This unprecedented longing for history is something I cannot figure out. Maybe because when my mom was in school, history was her best subject. Then again, I love Math and Biology and Chemistry...actually, reading is just fun. Don't look at me, I'm not a top scorer and I don't score exceedingly well for these subjects. I cannot explain why but that's the way it is. Life is a crazy thing. O.o!

I love chocolates too!

Give me just one and I'll swoon. Okay, that's so dramatic. OF course, I won't swoon, just having one. But I'll get the sugar rush and then become 'high'. He he. You can experiment on me, if you want. All my close friends did and they enjoy doing it again, and again, and again...LOL!

By the way, did I mention that I pretty much like wine too? ;) Red wine to be precise. Well, so far I've tasted red wine and...it's good! heh heh.

I'm sure everybody know how it feels when it's your birthday and then a friend that you may not be close to might suddenly pop by just to wish you a simple 'happy birthday'.

Yes, that's how I feel. I feel exultantly joyful! Elated, I say! And it definitely made my day. Well, that's for this morning. I'm not sure how the day unfolds, but if miracle happens, I'll let you all know. *winks*

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2 down, 4 more to go.

Yesterday was my Math exam. For AS level - A levels June examination. So far so good. I'm really thankful to God that I didn't break down or anything. The paper went on smoothly, or so I hope. My next 2 papers will be Biology and that's gonna be on the 4th of June. My last 2 papers will be Chemistry, on the 6th of June.

Pray for me, for I'm going through a very tough battle. Not only that these papers cost me quite a fortune, but heck, I don't want to fail!

I have to do this right. I don't want to repeat, thus wasting my time and my parents' money. I'm very happy that my parents are always here with me to give me support. Somehow, I'll get through this.