ordinary day? i gather not.

She's getting out of bed

At half past ten

She starts to comb her hair

Just an ordinary day

She looks at her reflection

Off the wall

Why do I care at all

Just an ordinary day

An ordinary day

That's hurting you

Don't hide out inside yourself

If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you

You're not alone

When the lights go out at night

When you're feeling lost inside

You're not alone

You're not alone

When your world is falling down

I will be the one around

You're not alone

You're not alone

I can only wish. I'm feeling rather down, and quite alone today. Maybe because, I'm too lost in my own thoughts to be bothered by my surroundings. This song has been playing in my head, and yet...I feel all alone. I'm guessing I'll be very alone tonight, when I sleep. My day had been rather crappy. Initially, it's just very boring. Then, God decided to make me happy. By "awarding" me with a scholarship which I had applied on Sunday and forgotten all about it. Until now. This is a total surprise. I only applied because the lady-in-charge said I should apply for it, seeing that I might have a chance.

The details of the scholarship:

A place in Taylors College in Melbourne.

A scholarship for Monash University Foundation Year (MUFY).

Term starts on April 16th 2007.

No bonds, no conditions, no interviews, no entrance exams, it's shove right under my nose like, "Here! Take it! It's ALL YOURS!"

It's a real scholarship. I can reach it if I extend my hand!

The problems:

1) It's happening WAY too fast. I'm being forced (literally) to go to Australia before the month is out. Of course, I have the choice to withdraw, which is quite a waste actually.

2) I'm not ready, physically, mentally and emotionally. If I go, I'll be facing the world (or rather, Australia) alone. With no one by my side. Just a figment of imaginary family in my mind. I swear, I'll break down.

3) If I don't do well, I won't be able to get into the course I want, and my scholarship ends there. A.k.a. end of life. I'll have to return, and I'll be lost because I won't know what to do next. Pretty much useless of me, innit?

4) It's still not that cheap, even with scholarship. I have to LIVE there. I'm still a girl. I do need to shop. But those who knows me...you know very well that I have this guilty thingy in me. I spend more...I'd feel even guilty-er. Sad.

5) I'm still young. I have much choices later on and besides, my parents are VERY reluctant to let me off on my own. I'm reluctant to let myself go too! I can barely plant my own feet firmly on the ground, you think I'll be able to in Australia at SUCH a short time? ;)

Conclusion:

Dilemma. As far as you and I can see, my parents are quite reluctant to let me go. There's a high possibility that I might withdraw. For some, you might think I'm out of my mind to let go of something so...rare. Well, think again. If you happen to be in my shoes, thinking what I'm thinking, I'm sure you'll see my point of view.

And well...it's not like everyday you get scholarships waiting by your doorsteps...Pity.

What do you think? Will you accept? Or withdraw?

the beethoven's experience. he he.

Feeling: Awesome!

Of course, everytime I perform, I feel glorious, awesome and all the wonderful emotions one feels when doing something worthwhile. After about 1 month of practices and extra rehearsals towards the concert, everything went well. While all these emotions surging in my insides, I have some happy pictures to share...happily! Heh heh.



THE choir gang. After the last night of performance. We come from different background, each and every one of us. Some of us are studying, some of us are working. But we always get together weekly and try to make memorable nights like this night a successful one.

The girls. All clad in white and black.

Mr. Ian. Our teacher for the past few weeks. He's a really nice man. Funny too. ;)

Heidrun Maria Hahn. A lovely lady from Germany. She's always smiling. Watching her is quite...wonderful. She makes me smile too. And besides, she's the alto soloist for the concert. Great voice.

The bass soloist, soprano soloist...and a small part of the choir.


All great things must come to an end. I'm quite glad with how the concert turned out. Everything went well. I'm quite looking forward to our next project. It's great fun even though we went through lots of obstacles. And of course, we reap what we sown.

this very long post...

SO! How was your Chinese New Year? For me, I had loads of fun. Long story short, I'm simply glad that Chinese New Year comes once a year. This year, it was indeed my busiest year EVER! Really...up, down, left, right...God, it was tiring! Never in my life had I ever felt so much energy being used up on Chinese New Year(s). Of course, more energy used does not mean more ang paus coming in. Ha ha! However, at the end of the day...all those tiring moments were worth it. I had fun. I definitely had fun.

Previous years, I had planned all sorts of ways and schemes just to avoid the celebration and those big crowds. This year, I kinda went with the flow and joined the crowd. And I enjoyed myself. Makes me feel like looking forward to every Chinese New Year now. I don't know where my dad uploaded the pictures but I will post it when I get them. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words. Or so they say. I'll elaborate the story from there and then.

Okay. Let's fast forward to the present. I have an upcoming concert on the 16th and 17th of March 2007. It's Beethoven's Classic Concert. Here are the details:

http://www.litefm.com.my/05/showtime/music/default.asp

Click there, and read the first table you see. =D!
No, I'm not promoting the concert. Actually, I am. Oh whatever. Just in case some of you are interested. Apparently, someone tried to kill me when I didn't inform the person of whatever concert(s) I performed in. (Just joking) Lol!

* * * * * * * * * *

There's this question that I kept in my heart for so long...that somehow, I brought it up randomly during a conversation with my darling good friend today. It's a pretty common question, yet rare as well. The question is, what is love?

Apparently, I knew the answer before she could say anything. There IS no exact answer. It's different for each individual. For some, love can come crashing down on them. For some, love discreetly creeps up on them, slowly. For some, love blossoms through friendships or some sort. For others, it simply happens!!! I'm not quite sure I believe in love at first sight. I haven't actually experience it yet, but...for now, I don't think it's exactly true. My opinion today may change tomorrow when (who knows?) I suddenly find myself in a 'love at first sight' situation. As for now, I'll stick to my belief that it's quite unlikely to happen. Love at first sight. You 'fall in love' so quickly, you don't even know the person's name. If you're lucky, you might have found your one true love. If not...the object of your attention doesn't return your affection and leave you broken and tattered.

What about the term 'love is blind'? Is love really blind? Does love make us see things in such a way that it is actually flaws in others' eyes? My opinion (for now, again)...I don't think love is blind. Not to that extent. If love is indeed blind, we will never see the imperfect part of the person we love. The ironic part of this love business? When you love someone, you accept the person for who he/she is. You don't try to change him/her because he/she is imperfect the way he/she is. And that is also the same reason why you love him/her. So, how do you explain the term? How do you view it? How will you accept it? Goodness, I'm getting dizzy with all the "he/she, him/her". Ha ha!

This post is not at an end because my mind still unravels about the simplicity, yet complex state this topic is. Besides, it's late and I really do want to sleep...