ab initio

Ab initio... From the beginning, it means.

Why do I feel so alone?
Surrounded by a million people, I still can't find what I need most.
I can be in the company of the best of my friends...
And yet, still feel like I'm so far away.
I may be smiling outside, keeping a calm, composed, jovial façade.
But deep down inside of me, I'm crying...hoping and wishing fervently that someone will come and take me away.

Ab initio
I've felt that way.
I've always wonder why.
Maybe it's the inner part of me, seeking tranquility.
Seeking solace.
Seeking the happiness that comes with every sorrow and pain.
As they say, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger'.
I have yet to experience that very notion.
One day, I'm sure I will.
Because to me, everything happens for a reason.

P.S.: I know this doesn't make much sense, but..do endure my rantings. I just need them out of my head, and soul.