Friday.

Dearest,
while you were gone,

I saw a beautiful rainbow stretched across the sky;
I saw the sun set;
I saw streaks of sun rays;
I saw strong, clear, powerful lightning. I think it's beautiful...yet dangerous. So strong, it might have strike Earth;
I saw my uncle's coffin. I wanted to see his body (Seriously, I think I'm going crazy) , but I didn't;
I sat silently, just feeling the night. Calm and quiet. Only the sound of crickets in the background. A clear night, no stars. But it reminded me of that one starry night we shared.

How was your day?

* * *

Saturday.

Dearest,

while you were gone,

I had quite a restless day.

I had a headache, maybe due to the lateness of the night before when I finally fell asleep.

I had a number of rounds of card games with my best friend.

I watched "Most Haunted" and "A Haunting" in Astro at night, and I was wishing you were there to watch them with me.

Now, I'm here typing out this sentence, still wishing you were here with me.

I wonder what you are doing now, and I wonder if you are well.

I wonder if you are having fun, and I wonder if you had stop to think of me.

And, I wonder...

How was your day today?

P/S: A figment of my imagination. =P! ;)!

people.

Religions, faith, beliefs, rules, whatever you want to call it. I have no problems dealing with it, facing it,having friends knowing people!, (no offence) who are totally into it [even though the ground they are standing on is quite ridiculous]!

The only thing I can't understand, is WHY some people, choose to interfere in others' business about what they are doing (that apparently go against their beliefs) and then, state something that really displeases me.

WHO on earth still believes that girls are supposed to be mothers at (generally) my age??!
Now?!
If anybody still believes in this, PLEASE tell me WHY.
What do you think we girls are???
Some manufacturing factory that produces children for the world?
You might as well kill all the successful women in the world for accomplishing so much for the society but neglecting their "duties" as a dull housewife, sitting at home, rotting with nothing to do but to produce offspring, clean house and stay dead.
No, better yet! You simply have to forbid all females to study and gain knowledge in schools.
Yes, just strip them bare from their intelligence. Make them absurd, ignorant, bird-brained, dense, and imbecile, why don't you?
At this age, all we have to do is prepare ourselves for marriage, wait for one of those rich and bloated men to propose, and become mothers to kids.
Isn't that what women should be doing???

Helloooo?? Wake up, people-with-such-ridiculous-thoughts-still-freely-running-in-your-minds!
This is the 21st century!
There are such organizations that fight for women's rights, for the equality between the two genders and etc.
Why not ban these societies if such notions are troubling you?
To know that there are still such thoughts in people's mind is just infuriating!
Come on! The world is changing. Era after era, we are chasing after and yet...
People.

There are many kinds of people in the world. This is one of the many kinds that I don't understand.

P/S: I'm sorry if I had offended anyone with this post. This is merely a post of angry outburst and my point on view on matters that I come across. I am just trying to justify my part and, as an "avid fan" (like dear ol' Sir Daryl puts it), do feel free to comment. Cheers.

ordinary day? i gather not.

She's getting out of bed

At half past ten

She starts to comb her hair

Just an ordinary day

She looks at her reflection

Off the wall

Why do I care at all

Just an ordinary day

An ordinary day

That's hurting you

Don't hide out inside yourself

If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you

You're not alone

When the lights go out at night

When you're feeling lost inside

You're not alone

You're not alone

When your world is falling down

I will be the one around

You're not alone

You're not alone

I can only wish. I'm feeling rather down, and quite alone today. Maybe because, I'm too lost in my own thoughts to be bothered by my surroundings. This song has been playing in my head, and yet...I feel all alone. I'm guessing I'll be very alone tonight, when I sleep. My day had been rather crappy. Initially, it's just very boring. Then, God decided to make me happy. By "awarding" me with a scholarship which I had applied on Sunday and forgotten all about it. Until now. This is a total surprise. I only applied because the lady-in-charge said I should apply for it, seeing that I might have a chance.

The details of the scholarship:

A place in Taylors College in Melbourne.

A scholarship for Monash University Foundation Year (MUFY).

Term starts on April 16th 2007.

No bonds, no conditions, no interviews, no entrance exams, it's shove right under my nose like, "Here! Take it! It's ALL YOURS!"

It's a real scholarship. I can reach it if I extend my hand!

The problems:

1) It's happening WAY too fast. I'm being forced (literally) to go to Australia before the month is out. Of course, I have the choice to withdraw, which is quite a waste actually.

2) I'm not ready, physically, mentally and emotionally. If I go, I'll be facing the world (or rather, Australia) alone. With no one by my side. Just a figment of imaginary family in my mind. I swear, I'll break down.

3) If I don't do well, I won't be able to get into the course I want, and my scholarship ends there. A.k.a. end of life. I'll have to return, and I'll be lost because I won't know what to do next. Pretty much useless of me, innit?

4) It's still not that cheap, even with scholarship. I have to LIVE there. I'm still a girl. I do need to shop. But those who knows me...you know very well that I have this guilty thingy in me. I spend more...I'd feel even guilty-er. Sad.

5) I'm still young. I have much choices later on and besides, my parents are VERY reluctant to let me off on my own. I'm reluctant to let myself go too! I can barely plant my own feet firmly on the ground, you think I'll be able to in Australia at SUCH a short time? ;)

Conclusion:

Dilemma. As far as you and I can see, my parents are quite reluctant to let me go. There's a high possibility that I might withdraw. For some, you might think I'm out of my mind to let go of something so...rare. Well, think again. If you happen to be in my shoes, thinking what I'm thinking, I'm sure you'll see my point of view.

And well...it's not like everyday you get scholarships waiting by your doorsteps...Pity.

What do you think? Will you accept? Or withdraw?

the beethoven's experience. he he.

Feeling: Awesome!

Of course, everytime I perform, I feel glorious, awesome and all the wonderful emotions one feels when doing something worthwhile. After about 1 month of practices and extra rehearsals towards the concert, everything went well. While all these emotions surging in my insides, I have some happy pictures to share...happily! Heh heh.



THE choir gang. After the last night of performance. We come from different background, each and every one of us. Some of us are studying, some of us are working. But we always get together weekly and try to make memorable nights like this night a successful one.

The girls. All clad in white and black.

Mr. Ian. Our teacher for the past few weeks. He's a really nice man. Funny too. ;)

Heidrun Maria Hahn. A lovely lady from Germany. She's always smiling. Watching her is quite...wonderful. She makes me smile too. And besides, she's the alto soloist for the concert. Great voice.

The bass soloist, soprano soloist...and a small part of the choir.


All great things must come to an end. I'm quite glad with how the concert turned out. Everything went well. I'm quite looking forward to our next project. It's great fun even though we went through lots of obstacles. And of course, we reap what we sown.

this very long post...

SO! How was your Chinese New Year? For me, I had loads of fun. Long story short, I'm simply glad that Chinese New Year comes once a year. This year, it was indeed my busiest year EVER! Really...up, down, left, right...God, it was tiring! Never in my life had I ever felt so much energy being used up on Chinese New Year(s). Of course, more energy used does not mean more ang paus coming in. Ha ha! However, at the end of the day...all those tiring moments were worth it. I had fun. I definitely had fun.

Previous years, I had planned all sorts of ways and schemes just to avoid the celebration and those big crowds. This year, I kinda went with the flow and joined the crowd. And I enjoyed myself. Makes me feel like looking forward to every Chinese New Year now. I don't know where my dad uploaded the pictures but I will post it when I get them. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words. Or so they say. I'll elaborate the story from there and then.

Okay. Let's fast forward to the present. I have an upcoming concert on the 16th and 17th of March 2007. It's Beethoven's Classic Concert. Here are the details:

http://www.litefm.com.my/05/showtime/music/default.asp

Click there, and read the first table you see. =D!
No, I'm not promoting the concert. Actually, I am. Oh whatever. Just in case some of you are interested. Apparently, someone tried to kill me when I didn't inform the person of whatever concert(s) I performed in. (Just joking) Lol!

* * * * * * * * * *

There's this question that I kept in my heart for so long...that somehow, I brought it up randomly during a conversation with my darling good friend today. It's a pretty common question, yet rare as well. The question is, what is love?

Apparently, I knew the answer before she could say anything. There IS no exact answer. It's different for each individual. For some, love can come crashing down on them. For some, love discreetly creeps up on them, slowly. For some, love blossoms through friendships or some sort. For others, it simply happens!!! I'm not quite sure I believe in love at first sight. I haven't actually experience it yet, but...for now, I don't think it's exactly true. My opinion today may change tomorrow when (who knows?) I suddenly find myself in a 'love at first sight' situation. As for now, I'll stick to my belief that it's quite unlikely to happen. Love at first sight. You 'fall in love' so quickly, you don't even know the person's name. If you're lucky, you might have found your one true love. If not...the object of your attention doesn't return your affection and leave you broken and tattered.

What about the term 'love is blind'? Is love really blind? Does love make us see things in such a way that it is actually flaws in others' eyes? My opinion (for now, again)...I don't think love is blind. Not to that extent. If love is indeed blind, we will never see the imperfect part of the person we love. The ironic part of this love business? When you love someone, you accept the person for who he/she is. You don't try to change him/her because he/she is imperfect the way he/she is. And that is also the same reason why you love him/her. So, how do you explain the term? How do you view it? How will you accept it? Goodness, I'm getting dizzy with all the "he/she, him/her". Ha ha!

This post is not at an end because my mind still unravels about the simplicity, yet complex state this topic is. Besides, it's late and I really do want to sleep...

Happy Chinese New Year~!

Just here to wish everybody a good, jolly Happy Chinese New Year! May you get lots of ang pows and lots of money! Have fun with friends and family members. Eat more, worry later. Enjoy yourself to the fullest this holiday. Peace out!

my mommy's birthday!

No, it's not today, if you are referring to the date above. It was yesterday. :) We celebrated at Chili's Grill & Bar Family Restaurant in KLCC. The food was good, my parents were happy, my sister was happy, I'M happy. Tee hee. Everybody is happy. Which is GOOD. However, we did not manage to finish the food. It was too much for a person. Well, that's unless you're a great eater. Not even I can finish the meal. Imagine.



Starters: Caesar Salad and Soup. Mushroom soup.



Monterey Chicken. Mom's meal.


Country Fried Steak. Dad's meal.



Lamb Shoulder. Sister's meal.


Steak and Something. Can't remember. MY meal! ;)


FOOD = divine.
Happy (Belated) Birthday, Mommy. *hugs* I'm glad she (mom) enjoyed the dinner. As well as the rest of my family. After all, I PAID for the dinner. ;) Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. I have a special date. With the love of my life. The one I'll never forget for the rest of my life. *sighs dreamily...*

P/S: you know who you are.
P.P.S: Do you guys know who the person is? Try guessing. ;)

Why do Women Cry?

A little boy asked his mother,
"Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he asked God. He said,
"God,why do women cry so easily?"

God said,
"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God,
"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the door way to her heart - the place where love resides."


I'm simply touched by this beautiful piece of story. Yes, I stole it from Friendster's Bulletin. I find it meaningful. So this is why women cry...

my first week in school

A new beginning. A new start. For me.

Monday.
Butterflies in my tummy. Nervous, excited...you name it. I have not felt like this for so long. Ever since my first day in school when I was 7. As sad as it sounds, I made my mom to come along with me. When I reached the school, I saw a girl sitting alone there. I didn't know what else to do since there was a notice saying "No parents allowed" or something. I was just standing there when the girl spoke to me. She asked if I was taking A Levels in this school. I was so relieved and launched into a conversation with her. I happily waved my mom goodbye and went towards the classroom with Shara (that's her name). It's even interesting to know that she's from Maldives. Lessons were great. Everything was quite different. In 3 hours, I've made friends with about 10 people. They come from all around the world,practically. Of course, some of them had been living in this country for the past few years. The rest of the day went on well. The teachers started teaching on the first day. Nice teachers.

Tuesday.
Made more friends. Lessons were fun and intriguing. Trying to get used to the environment. The day was great.

Wednesday.
Supposed to end at 9 am today. Unfortunately, our Bio teacher decided to replace a class today because she fell sick the day before.

Thursday.
I missed a Chem class in the morning!!! But it's not entirely my fault because our Chem teacher said the classes in the morning was for students taking the third unit. Heard myself being called crazy for copying notes during free period instead of fooling around with the new gang. Oh well. So be it.

Friday.
Lessons went well. Was copying questions for Chemistry in the Student's Room when a group of people surrounded me and loomed over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Again, I heard myself being called crazy. The day ended with a twist. A rather strange surprise of the week. *shudders*


Classes were really good. I've got no problem trying to understand what we're learning now. The only slight complication is trying hard to connect the knowledge with what I already know but...in Bahasa Melayu. But it's cool. Apart from being mistaken as a Korean and an Indonesian (and God knows what else is to come...), I'm getting used to it all. I'm gonna like my new life. *winks*

So...How was your week?

I. Am. Bored. School is about to start in exactly a week from now. I'm having great times with Iman almost every single day. He he he. Now I feel rather attached to her. Pity she'll be leaving me all alone when September comes. *sniff sniff* (No, Iman dear, I still can't get over that fact.) I'm not ready for school, for A levels, and for whatever that lies on my path. Unfortunately, almost everyone is already racking their brains and working hard. If I don't start soon, I'll soon turn into a lazy pig with no intentions to live life. That's pretty bad. Sigh...

a tribute to my goody good friend.

First of all, Happy Birthday to my dearest friend, Jeff. (And also to U Shen and Yung Sen) Today's post is pretty lame. So for those who are not interested in reading lame stuff for now...you might as well leave. Anyway, I remember I posted one entree a few weeks ago talking about friends and best friends. I've only introduced my closest girlfriends. Today, however, I'm going to introduce my closest guy friends. I'll start with...

Jeff. He is my cool buddy. We met when I was in Form 3 and he in Form 2. Somehow...he became my confidant as well. I can tell him almost everything. Tee hee. Well, he doesn't complain! Anyway, he's a great guy. Very self-disciplined, sporting, determined and ambitious. Plus, he's a smart kid. Great listener and somehow, he's always good in cheering me up. *winks* He's got a weird sense of humour (SORRY JEFF), but thank goodness I would normally understand. Even if I don't understand, it makes me laugh because I don't understand and it makes no sense! (oh dear, I'm starting to crap. XD!) He's good in motivating. ...well...seeing that he always finds a way to motivate me when I'm this close to giving up. Also, it's actually very nice because I get to compete with him. I take him as my challenge. It's very cool. He's nice. And a fun person. =D!

Louis. My (pretty much) childhood friend. To me, he's like a brother I never had. And he's funny! tee hee...He NEVER fails to make me laugh out loud. Even if it's the day BEFORE our SPM History paper. That's how crazy he is. He's indeed a really nice guy. He is weird, though. Psycho. Whenever you're down...you can always look for him! And yes, he is still trying to beat me in Maths and History. He's reliable even though he was a pretty useless prefect in school. Lol. Ah...we don't talk every single day but when we do get in touch, we'll know what's going on. *winks* A good friend. Blur but NEVER innocent. And definitely, Louis is someone I won't forget. Mr. Detachable Strawberries. ^^

There! My goody good friends. There is someone else in my mind...but I'm not quite sure if I can regard him as a friend...and I'm not sure if I should put him up here. Rather risky, if you ask me. Hmm...think think...

So, do you have guys as close friends? I'm sure you do. =)

the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006.

In exactly 6 days from today, Sze Min will be in Australia, opening up doors of possibilities and accomplishing her goals and dreams. I'm indeed happy to know that she is going to her future. One day, she'll make it to the front cover of the newspapers! =D! I spent my whole day with her for...you can say...the last time. I mean, I won't be going out with her for the next few years, that's for sure! And these (refer to pictures) are the results of going out with the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006. We watched 'Kung Fu Mah Jong' at Times Square, and it's pretty cool. The only disadvantage was we were seated right below the screen. I felt as if either my eyes were gonna pop out or my neck was gonna break! The movie is quite funny. Rather senseless but funny. After that, we walked over to Tze Hui's place at Federal Hotel to hang out and have pre-dinner. It's cool to have a friend living in a hotel you know. ;)

The lamb chop looks tempting...too bad Shin Yi was too far away.


MY pre-dinner. Delicious, isn't it? ;)

Ah...it's been so long since I last went out with these people! Now that all of us are seperated, leading our own paths, venturing our own journeys...it's pretty hard for us all to get together and just have fun. Things are simply different. I won't see most of these people for quite some time now. Like Sze Min and some others, they're going away...thousands of miles away from home (and me!) and the chances of seeing them again are...very slim indeed.

From left, standing: Sophia, Koh, Me, Tze Hui, Sze Min, Kim.

From left, bottom: Shin Yi, Natty, Eva.


We psycho-ians in Tze Hui's toys' room. It's a lovely room, without us blocking the view, actually.

This is Tze Hui's living room.

Right now, I need Sze Min's house address because I need to post her a letter before she leaves for Australia. SZEMIN!!! (tee hee...forgive me for the screaming).

spring cleaning!

Clean, clean, and clean! Finally...my room is spotless once again!!! Unfortunately, I got hurt in the process but it is very minor. So for those who are hoping that I'd die or something...wish again! LOL!

I'm going back to school soon. I don't mean school as in, SMK SBU but...I mean...I'm going to start my A levels soon. No, I'm not going to college. I'm going to an international school. =) I don't think it'll be any different compared to other colleges as I'll still be studying the same thing. Sigh...The start of February marks the end of my care-free days. So long were the days when I could actually sit in front of the television for hours. So long were the days when I could sit down and play sudoku for hours. So long were the days when I could do anything else to waste my time and pass the day. Now, here comes the moment when I am SUPPOSED to dedicate myself to work, study, and books. Once more. Well, learning is a life-long progress. Not that I mind. It's getting pretty boring at home...rotting, doing nothing. Stare at the television and drool...I rather prefer to do something useful, like study! I know, I'll definitely miss my days doing nothing at all. Hey! Life is not a bed of roses. You know that. The twist and turn in life are the best part for they bring excitement, adventure and passion! =D!

Tee hee...my mind unravels once more!

BALL-ista!

Monday
ballista ACTUALLY means a catapult for hurling large stones. For this post, ballista has got nothing to do with what I'm about to tell. You see, the only 'large stone' that was 'hurled' through the air was...A FOOTBALL! Instead of entering the unseen goal, the ball simply hit an innocent on a swing. Guess who's the innocent?...No, it's not me. It's...IMAN AZMAN!!! *wiping tears of laughter* I'm evil. I'm not supposed to laugh but what are friends for??? ;)

Okay, the actual incident happened this way. I went for a walk with dear ol' Iman as usual. After we finished one round, Iman suggested that we go to the playground to sit on the swings. There were kids around playing football. As we were sitting down on the swings, Iman was saying these exact words, "If I ever get hit by the ball, I swear I'll kill someone." So, she swung. I wasn't swinging because I didn't like the creaking sound my swing made whenever I moved. Less than 5 minutes after she said those words, she got hit by the ball directly in her face, mid-air. I was...speechless and stunned. The whole playground went silent. The kids were..well, if I had a camera at that moment, I'd snap their faces! It's a real-life shock thingy! LOL! The only sound you can hear was Iman's slow 'ows' and the birds chirping. XD! Long story short, we went back home telling everyone about it. It is indeed something I'll never forget.

Tuesday
Another ordinary day. Just that today...I finally had my hair cut that I had postponed for so long! (Ever since the day I finished SPM.) My new haircut is actually not much different. It's just 3 inches shorter. I wanted it shorter, in fact, but my hair stylist said it's better if it's longer. *shrugs* Seeing that my friends always think it's useless whenever I say I want to go for a hair cut. They think I just merely trimmed my hair. Now, 3 inches is A LOT! My hair now is neither long nor short. Again, why am I boring you with my nonsense...never mind. I didn't get to do any shopping today. Unfortunately. I'm missing those lovely pair of shoes already! Tonight is Il Divo's concert! Pity I missed it. Oh well, Iman can still tell me all the details when she gets back this Sunday. From Japan. She's flying tomorrow by the way. Not that you'll be interested, but just had to type it out. For some reasons that I myself don't know what.

Ahh...happy birthday, KIM!!! =)

window shopping!

Shopping! What is YOUR definition of shopping?

Let's see, for me, shopping means...I can spend hours in a building (with shops of course), walking and looking and searching...and yet, I can come out of the building buying NOTHING. Or, I can come out looking as if I bought the whole store! It's pretty uncommon. [Pssst...actually, I think it's rather time wasting walking around like an idiot not knowing what to buy but...I AM a girl. *shrugs*]

I spent half of my day today, window shopping. Actually, the original plan is to really buy something...but...unfortunately, I didn't. I'm very bad at making decisions. The thing is, I can't make up my mind whether I want to get those lovely pair of shoes...or the other lovely pair of shoes. Annoying, innit? In the end, I simply gave up and decided to buy them some other time. Sad.

I'm sure I'll be going back there this week! I simply must get those lovely pair of shoes! I'll be ecstatic when I get my hands on them!

what if...?

What if...today is the last day of your life? There will be no tomorrow for you...and you'll be leaving everyone behind. What would you do? How will you spend your remaining hours? Alone? Or with as many friends and family members around you?

A thought struck me. A random person...maybe me or you, waking up to a new day, getting ready for a new start. Going about doing our daily chores. Suddenly, something happens. Something terrible happens. Next thing you know, you're six feet under and all your friends and family members are mourning for you. Why? You wonder. I realized, no one can answer that particular question. Short, but it holds a thousand meanings.

IF today is the last day of my life, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. It would be hard for me to accept that news. On the other hand, I might not even know it is going to be my last day on Earth. I might just...die without a notice or something. That's more saddening. Well, I guess...I won't be any different. I'll wake up at the crack of dawn and spend the whole morning to myself. Thinking about all the things I have done throughout the past years of my life. Thinking about everybody I'm leaving behind. Wondering if it matters to them. Thinking about all the things I could have done if only I have the chance to live longer. Thinking about things I'm never going to do, things I'm never going to experience. Afterwards, I'll join friends that I can possibly meet in such a short notice. I don't exactly know what I am going to do with them, but their presence will forever stay in my memory. Maybe we'll conquer the whole of Starbucks or something...talking and maybe reminiscing about the past. Tears and laughter will definitely fill the whole place. When night falls, I'll spend my remaining hours with my family. A last dinner together.

Sorry, I can't seem to go on. I find it hard to end my life there and then. God knows why am I posting this entree. Why am I talking about death is also something to ponder upon. Psycho Zun San. Not to worry...Í'm not going to kill myself for whatever reasons. Somehow, I simply can't think of a reason why I would want to end my life over something. LIFE MOVES ON. There. That's a good enough reason to STAY ALIVE. Hee hee..don't you think so?

Nobody knows when their journey will end. We don't know what God has in store for us. Rather intriguing, when you think about it. Because...I'm a very curious person even though I don't show it. My curiosity comes crawling to me when thoughts start popping into my brain, making me think about it. I'm weird. I really think I am. Why? Because I think about life and death, I think about humans nature, I think about mother's nature, I think about funny and weird stuff...
All the sudden, I don't feel that weird anymore. I KNOW that there are people out there who are thinking about the same things that I'm curious about. Interesting.

Goodbye Da...

Da's gone! She's off to New York, to start a new life. I'm happy for her. Although she's never been my shoulder to cry on, or anything like a friend would normally do. But she did brought lots of laughter in my life. And I will never, EVER forget the traumatic thing she terrified me with. (This, I would not reveal. It will remain a secret between Da, Iman and me.) That traumatic...thing is a hell of an experience I will always remember, until my dying day. So..that's that. No more crazy Imelda(s) in my life. For the time being. At least I know she's an email away. No matter how far she is, I know I still can reach her. :) BUT first, I need to find her email address. Now, where did I put it...? he he...

Well, life moves on. I really do hope she'll be happy. Somewhere, somehow...she'll find her happiness.

Lazy Post

First of all, I want to thank Kim for that really long and honest answer. For the rest of you...aren't you going to let me know your point of view? Come on...say something! :D

Anyway, this post is to introduce my other close friends whom I did not mention in the previous post. These people are Kim, Ji Hsia, Shin Yi, and Sze Min.

I don't feel like blogging tonight. So...see ya tomorrow!

have you ever...?

Have you ever imagine life without friends? Have you? Well, I tried. And it's not easy when every now and then, my lesbian partner smack me for not apparent reason. XD! (Lesbian partner means Iman) I was watching The Grudge (English version) with Iman when we both (simultaneously) yelled, screamed, whimpered and hid behind the pillows throughout the whole movie. It's fun actually, when I think about it. Then a thought struck me. What if...I had no friends? Nobody to share my laughter, my tears, my happiness, my sorrow, my fears, my dreams, my hopes...etc. Oh dear. I got pretty depressed thinking about it. Then, I looked at my own life. I have friends. Friends that I love and who love me as well. Or so I hope. I smiled discreetly despite the scary background music and Iman's constant "oh-my-god"s brought me back to reality. Then I started screaming with her again.

Dear all,
What do you think of the term 'Best Friends'? Seriously, think about it. Answer me (if you care), truthfully. I've been through that stage when I thought that...best friends are forever. That nothing in the world can severe the ties between best friends. How wrong. I was...you can say, misled...by the figment in my head. I had to figure it out all by myself. People, no matter how close, will drift apart when they're far away from each other. I lost 'touch' with my own friends when I skipped a year in primary. That was my first...'realization dawned upon me' kind of thing. When the years stretched, the gap between my old friends and myself became bigger. In the end, they acknowledged me as someone else, as their senior and the warm cheerful laughter I used to share with them vanished. Oh well, I got over that quickly when I found that they are not the only friends I've got. Now, I'm happy with who I am and who I have around me. Of course, I never believed in best friends after that. It's just...too cliché. It's too good to be true. I resolved to having close and trustworthy friends around me. I'm quite glad to say that I do have a handful of close friends, consisting of guys and girls. Of course, girls overpower the guys in number but...all the same, they're all close in my heart. Well, I have to say...I don't tell them EVERYTHING but once in a while, I do bare my soul. ;) Today, let me introduce my closest girlfriend and my other close friends.

Iman Azman. Yes, she's my closest friend. More like my confidant. Of course, I have yet to tell her EVERYTHING, but there's still time. ;) [I'm stealing this sentence from you, Iman..] My life turned upside down the moment she appeared in my math tuition with Puan Goh, about 6 years ago. That's a pretty long time, don't you think? It's not that we clicked the moment we met...somehow, we gradually grew on each other and lookie at us now. 2 crazy teenagers with a long way to go. We both may not tell each other everything but...somehow, we know. :)

Devis. She's my Indian twin. Even though we're apart, we still find time to let each other know what's happening in our lives. I open up to her...and she opens up to me. Again, we might not know every single details but vaguely...we get the picture.

Wai Ling. She's my Chinese twin, my one and only yo-bo! (Yo-bo means darling.) Nothing can change the fact that she's the cutest and funniest thing walking on earth! For me, mind you. We are psychics and we feel what each other feel. The best part is she'll always be my good pal, good friend and my favourite sms buddy. Tee hee..

Elina & Imelda. Both of them are somewhat special. In their own ways. I might not have confided in them or vice versa but...they are the unique, cheerful, bubbly friends in my life.

The rest of my close girlfriends will always stay as close. Their names may not be in this post, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten them or pushing them aside. So...yes, that's pretty much about the people who evolve in my life. I haven't mention the guys yet but it'll be up shortly.

Now...tell me, friends.
Have you ever imagine a life without your friends? Do you believe in best friends? Can you overcome the fear that you might lose your best friend over a fight...forever? Do you believe in friendships after a big, serious fight? Can you put your resentment behind you and start anew? Can you forgive and forget the past? Can you???

Tell me. Honestly. Let me know what you think.

Just another day, started out like any other...

Another Friday, another day. My days pass by, just like that. Today, I met with some of my friends. Or rather, my so-called juniors. You see, I went to school with my mom, to pick my sister up. While waiting, I stopped and talked to a long time friend. After that, a lot of my..."juniors" came and said 'Hi'. Very nice of them, though. Well, frankly I think they don't have a choice but...they're not that bad, are they? ;) After that, I spent almost the entire day, wrapping books in Iman's place. Amazing huh? They're all Kak Nik's books by the way. It's fun! Hee hee...

Have you ever feel like being alone, in the midst of a crowd? I'm sure you do. When you simply lost interest in whatever's going on at the moment. I did...and still do. Ungracefully as ever, I'll just plop down on a chair (if there is) and gaze away, to a distant place...far far away. And then, there'll be someone who is caring enough and ask if I'm alright. Of course, I wouldn't want to spoil the mood, so, reluctantly, I'll put on a smile and say yes, I'm perfectly fine. After that, I'll join the crowd. Of course, there are times when I'm simply tired and just plop down to take a break. That, I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. So, you just have to know when I am in a 'lone ranger' mood or just tired. I don't know why I'm scribbling this out but...it kind of popped into my head. Forgive me.

Hey! Lookie here, I've got some photos from Singapore. If you're interested, that is. :)

I never like posting pictures this way. Do you know how suffering to actually use this thingy? Never mind. I'm just not used to it. I'll put in more pictures...SOON!