the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006.

In exactly 6 days from today, Sze Min will be in Australia, opening up doors of possibilities and accomplishing her goals and dreams. I'm indeed happy to know that she is going to her future. One day, she'll make it to the front cover of the newspapers! =D! I spent my whole day with her for...you can say...the last time. I mean, I won't be going out with her for the next few years, that's for sure! And these (refer to pictures) are the results of going out with the psychotic remains of 5 gamma-ians and 5 lambda-ians 2006. We watched 'Kung Fu Mah Jong' at Times Square, and it's pretty cool. The only disadvantage was we were seated right below the screen. I felt as if either my eyes were gonna pop out or my neck was gonna break! The movie is quite funny. Rather senseless but funny. After that, we walked over to Tze Hui's place at Federal Hotel to hang out and have pre-dinner. It's cool to have a friend living in a hotel you know. ;)

The lamb chop looks tempting...too bad Shin Yi was too far away.


MY pre-dinner. Delicious, isn't it? ;)

Ah...it's been so long since I last went out with these people! Now that all of us are seperated, leading our own paths, venturing our own journeys...it's pretty hard for us all to get together and just have fun. Things are simply different. I won't see most of these people for quite some time now. Like Sze Min and some others, they're going away...thousands of miles away from home (and me!) and the chances of seeing them again are...very slim indeed.

From left, standing: Sophia, Koh, Me, Tze Hui, Sze Min, Kim.

From left, bottom: Shin Yi, Natty, Eva.


We psycho-ians in Tze Hui's toys' room. It's a lovely room, without us blocking the view, actually.

This is Tze Hui's living room.

Right now, I need Sze Min's house address because I need to post her a letter before she leaves for Australia. SZEMIN!!! (tee hee...forgive me for the screaming).

spring cleaning!

Clean, clean, and clean! Finally...my room is spotless once again!!! Unfortunately, I got hurt in the process but it is very minor. So for those who are hoping that I'd die or something...wish again! LOL!

I'm going back to school soon. I don't mean school as in, SMK SBU but...I mean...I'm going to start my A levels soon. No, I'm not going to college. I'm going to an international school. =) I don't think it'll be any different compared to other colleges as I'll still be studying the same thing. Sigh...The start of February marks the end of my care-free days. So long were the days when I could actually sit in front of the television for hours. So long were the days when I could sit down and play sudoku for hours. So long were the days when I could do anything else to waste my time and pass the day. Now, here comes the moment when I am SUPPOSED to dedicate myself to work, study, and books. Once more. Well, learning is a life-long progress. Not that I mind. It's getting pretty boring at home...rotting, doing nothing. Stare at the television and drool...I rather prefer to do something useful, like study! I know, I'll definitely miss my days doing nothing at all. Hey! Life is not a bed of roses. You know that. The twist and turn in life are the best part for they bring excitement, adventure and passion! =D!

Tee hee...my mind unravels once more!

BALL-ista!

Monday
ballista ACTUALLY means a catapult for hurling large stones. For this post, ballista has got nothing to do with what I'm about to tell. You see, the only 'large stone' that was 'hurled' through the air was...A FOOTBALL! Instead of entering the unseen goal, the ball simply hit an innocent on a swing. Guess who's the innocent?...No, it's not me. It's...IMAN AZMAN!!! *wiping tears of laughter* I'm evil. I'm not supposed to laugh but what are friends for??? ;)

Okay, the actual incident happened this way. I went for a walk with dear ol' Iman as usual. After we finished one round, Iman suggested that we go to the playground to sit on the swings. There were kids around playing football. As we were sitting down on the swings, Iman was saying these exact words, "If I ever get hit by the ball, I swear I'll kill someone." So, she swung. I wasn't swinging because I didn't like the creaking sound my swing made whenever I moved. Less than 5 minutes after she said those words, she got hit by the ball directly in her face, mid-air. I was...speechless and stunned. The whole playground went silent. The kids were..well, if I had a camera at that moment, I'd snap their faces! It's a real-life shock thingy! LOL! The only sound you can hear was Iman's slow 'ows' and the birds chirping. XD! Long story short, we went back home telling everyone about it. It is indeed something I'll never forget.

Tuesday
Another ordinary day. Just that today...I finally had my hair cut that I had postponed for so long! (Ever since the day I finished SPM.) My new haircut is actually not much different. It's just 3 inches shorter. I wanted it shorter, in fact, but my hair stylist said it's better if it's longer. *shrugs* Seeing that my friends always think it's useless whenever I say I want to go for a hair cut. They think I just merely trimmed my hair. Now, 3 inches is A LOT! My hair now is neither long nor short. Again, why am I boring you with my nonsense...never mind. I didn't get to do any shopping today. Unfortunately. I'm missing those lovely pair of shoes already! Tonight is Il Divo's concert! Pity I missed it. Oh well, Iman can still tell me all the details when she gets back this Sunday. From Japan. She's flying tomorrow by the way. Not that you'll be interested, but just had to type it out. For some reasons that I myself don't know what.

Ahh...happy birthday, KIM!!! =)

window shopping!

Shopping! What is YOUR definition of shopping?

Let's see, for me, shopping means...I can spend hours in a building (with shops of course), walking and looking and searching...and yet, I can come out of the building buying NOTHING. Or, I can come out looking as if I bought the whole store! It's pretty uncommon. [Pssst...actually, I think it's rather time wasting walking around like an idiot not knowing what to buy but...I AM a girl. *shrugs*]

I spent half of my day today, window shopping. Actually, the original plan is to really buy something...but...unfortunately, I didn't. I'm very bad at making decisions. The thing is, I can't make up my mind whether I want to get those lovely pair of shoes...or the other lovely pair of shoes. Annoying, innit? In the end, I simply gave up and decided to buy them some other time. Sad.

I'm sure I'll be going back there this week! I simply must get those lovely pair of shoes! I'll be ecstatic when I get my hands on them!

what if...?

What if...today is the last day of your life? There will be no tomorrow for you...and you'll be leaving everyone behind. What would you do? How will you spend your remaining hours? Alone? Or with as many friends and family members around you?

A thought struck me. A random person...maybe me or you, waking up to a new day, getting ready for a new start. Going about doing our daily chores. Suddenly, something happens. Something terrible happens. Next thing you know, you're six feet under and all your friends and family members are mourning for you. Why? You wonder. I realized, no one can answer that particular question. Short, but it holds a thousand meanings.

IF today is the last day of my life, I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. It would be hard for me to accept that news. On the other hand, I might not even know it is going to be my last day on Earth. I might just...die without a notice or something. That's more saddening. Well, I guess...I won't be any different. I'll wake up at the crack of dawn and spend the whole morning to myself. Thinking about all the things I have done throughout the past years of my life. Thinking about everybody I'm leaving behind. Wondering if it matters to them. Thinking about all the things I could have done if only I have the chance to live longer. Thinking about things I'm never going to do, things I'm never going to experience. Afterwards, I'll join friends that I can possibly meet in such a short notice. I don't exactly know what I am going to do with them, but their presence will forever stay in my memory. Maybe we'll conquer the whole of Starbucks or something...talking and maybe reminiscing about the past. Tears and laughter will definitely fill the whole place. When night falls, I'll spend my remaining hours with my family. A last dinner together.

Sorry, I can't seem to go on. I find it hard to end my life there and then. God knows why am I posting this entree. Why am I talking about death is also something to ponder upon. Psycho Zun San. Not to worry...Í'm not going to kill myself for whatever reasons. Somehow, I simply can't think of a reason why I would want to end my life over something. LIFE MOVES ON. There. That's a good enough reason to STAY ALIVE. Hee hee..don't you think so?

Nobody knows when their journey will end. We don't know what God has in store for us. Rather intriguing, when you think about it. Because...I'm a very curious person even though I don't show it. My curiosity comes crawling to me when thoughts start popping into my brain, making me think about it. I'm weird. I really think I am. Why? Because I think about life and death, I think about humans nature, I think about mother's nature, I think about funny and weird stuff...
All the sudden, I don't feel that weird anymore. I KNOW that there are people out there who are thinking about the same things that I'm curious about. Interesting.

Goodbye Da...

Da's gone! She's off to New York, to start a new life. I'm happy for her. Although she's never been my shoulder to cry on, or anything like a friend would normally do. But she did brought lots of laughter in my life. And I will never, EVER forget the traumatic thing she terrified me with. (This, I would not reveal. It will remain a secret between Da, Iman and me.) That traumatic...thing is a hell of an experience I will always remember, until my dying day. So..that's that. No more crazy Imelda(s) in my life. For the time being. At least I know she's an email away. No matter how far she is, I know I still can reach her. :) BUT first, I need to find her email address. Now, where did I put it...? he he...

Well, life moves on. I really do hope she'll be happy. Somewhere, somehow...she'll find her happiness.

Lazy Post

First of all, I want to thank Kim for that really long and honest answer. For the rest of you...aren't you going to let me know your point of view? Come on...say something! :D

Anyway, this post is to introduce my other close friends whom I did not mention in the previous post. These people are Kim, Ji Hsia, Shin Yi, and Sze Min.

I don't feel like blogging tonight. So...see ya tomorrow!

have you ever...?

Have you ever imagine life without friends? Have you? Well, I tried. And it's not easy when every now and then, my lesbian partner smack me for not apparent reason. XD! (Lesbian partner means Iman) I was watching The Grudge (English version) with Iman when we both (simultaneously) yelled, screamed, whimpered and hid behind the pillows throughout the whole movie. It's fun actually, when I think about it. Then a thought struck me. What if...I had no friends? Nobody to share my laughter, my tears, my happiness, my sorrow, my fears, my dreams, my hopes...etc. Oh dear. I got pretty depressed thinking about it. Then, I looked at my own life. I have friends. Friends that I love and who love me as well. Or so I hope. I smiled discreetly despite the scary background music and Iman's constant "oh-my-god"s brought me back to reality. Then I started screaming with her again.

Dear all,
What do you think of the term 'Best Friends'? Seriously, think about it. Answer me (if you care), truthfully. I've been through that stage when I thought that...best friends are forever. That nothing in the world can severe the ties between best friends. How wrong. I was...you can say, misled...by the figment in my head. I had to figure it out all by myself. People, no matter how close, will drift apart when they're far away from each other. I lost 'touch' with my own friends when I skipped a year in primary. That was my first...'realization dawned upon me' kind of thing. When the years stretched, the gap between my old friends and myself became bigger. In the end, they acknowledged me as someone else, as their senior and the warm cheerful laughter I used to share with them vanished. Oh well, I got over that quickly when I found that they are not the only friends I've got. Now, I'm happy with who I am and who I have around me. Of course, I never believed in best friends after that. It's just...too cliché. It's too good to be true. I resolved to having close and trustworthy friends around me. I'm quite glad to say that I do have a handful of close friends, consisting of guys and girls. Of course, girls overpower the guys in number but...all the same, they're all close in my heart. Well, I have to say...I don't tell them EVERYTHING but once in a while, I do bare my soul. ;) Today, let me introduce my closest girlfriend and my other close friends.

Iman Azman. Yes, she's my closest friend. More like my confidant. Of course, I have yet to tell her EVERYTHING, but there's still time. ;) [I'm stealing this sentence from you, Iman..] My life turned upside down the moment she appeared in my math tuition with Puan Goh, about 6 years ago. That's a pretty long time, don't you think? It's not that we clicked the moment we met...somehow, we gradually grew on each other and lookie at us now. 2 crazy teenagers with a long way to go. We both may not tell each other everything but...somehow, we know. :)

Devis. She's my Indian twin. Even though we're apart, we still find time to let each other know what's happening in our lives. I open up to her...and she opens up to me. Again, we might not know every single details but vaguely...we get the picture.

Wai Ling. She's my Chinese twin, my one and only yo-bo! (Yo-bo means darling.) Nothing can change the fact that she's the cutest and funniest thing walking on earth! For me, mind you. We are psychics and we feel what each other feel. The best part is she'll always be my good pal, good friend and my favourite sms buddy. Tee hee..

Elina & Imelda. Both of them are somewhat special. In their own ways. I might not have confided in them or vice versa but...they are the unique, cheerful, bubbly friends in my life.

The rest of my close girlfriends will always stay as close. Their names may not be in this post, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten them or pushing them aside. So...yes, that's pretty much about the people who evolve in my life. I haven't mention the guys yet but it'll be up shortly.

Now...tell me, friends.
Have you ever imagine a life without your friends? Do you believe in best friends? Can you overcome the fear that you might lose your best friend over a fight...forever? Do you believe in friendships after a big, serious fight? Can you put your resentment behind you and start anew? Can you forgive and forget the past? Can you???

Tell me. Honestly. Let me know what you think.

Just another day, started out like any other...

Another Friday, another day. My days pass by, just like that. Today, I met with some of my friends. Or rather, my so-called juniors. You see, I went to school with my mom, to pick my sister up. While waiting, I stopped and talked to a long time friend. After that, a lot of my..."juniors" came and said 'Hi'. Very nice of them, though. Well, frankly I think they don't have a choice but...they're not that bad, are they? ;) After that, I spent almost the entire day, wrapping books in Iman's place. Amazing huh? They're all Kak Nik's books by the way. It's fun! Hee hee...

Have you ever feel like being alone, in the midst of a crowd? I'm sure you do. When you simply lost interest in whatever's going on at the moment. I did...and still do. Ungracefully as ever, I'll just plop down on a chair (if there is) and gaze away, to a distant place...far far away. And then, there'll be someone who is caring enough and ask if I'm alright. Of course, I wouldn't want to spoil the mood, so, reluctantly, I'll put on a smile and say yes, I'm perfectly fine. After that, I'll join the crowd. Of course, there are times when I'm simply tired and just plop down to take a break. That, I assure you, I'm perfectly fine. So, you just have to know when I am in a 'lone ranger' mood or just tired. I don't know why I'm scribbling this out but...it kind of popped into my head. Forgive me.

Hey! Lookie here, I've got some photos from Singapore. If you're interested, that is. :)

I never like posting pictures this way. Do you know how suffering to actually use this thingy? Never mind. I'm just not used to it. I'll put in more pictures...SOON!

My resolutions

So far, I can only think of these resolutions. Not completely done but, this will do. :)

My Resolutions.

1) Be nice to everybody. (And I mean it, EVERYBODY!)

2) Make sure I eat a well-balanced meal this year. (I need to lose weight...and grow taller!)

3) Study hard for my A-levels.

4) Eat less chocolates. (Mind you, that's VERY unlikely to happen. But I can try.)

5) Widen my range of vocabulary.

6) Start a new life in my new school.

7) Find out who I really am inside. (I want to be who I want to be.)

8) Stop procrastinating!


These are all I can think of, now. There are more, actually. I think. Really hope I can fulfill these resolutions without any difficulties.
Elina is in U.K. now. Really hope she's fine. She's one of a kind. No one can compare to her. A unique person, she has never failed to cheer me up. Never will I forget her.

She's leaving!

Elina's leaving tomorrow!!! She's going to England! And I won't see her till..I grow old! Okay not that bad...Maybe a year or two? Or even longer? Sigh...I won't be able to see her off at the airport tomorrow. I'll miss her like nuts. Oh no! Elina, you won't be reading this but..do take care k? Hope you'll write. Speaking of which, I'm going to message her for the very last time now. Sniff sniff...*cries*!!!

This new year...

Happy New Year! So long, 2006! I'll miss you! You definitely brought a lot of sweet memories, great achievements, great agony, great sorrows and great learnings. I learnt so much that I can only hope to carry them in my heart and treasure the moral in it. For the past 16 years of my life, I never made resolutions for my own. Mentally, one or two might have past cross my mind, but obviously, soon forgotten. This year, however, I feel like making my first ever list of resolutions, which of course, I will be revealing it to you soon. Mind you, I'm hoping that whoever reads this...you got to make sure I KEEP my resolutions. So, this new year...I'm going to try to make the best of it. Right. Well, I don't have my resolutions ready now, so..be patience. I'll post it up when I am done thinking about it. :) School's starting soon. I feel so...out of place. I miss being in school, I miss going back to school every single day just to see my friends again! Sigh...I feel so old now. Poor me. I don't want to grow up! Can I stay here, stay as I am..like this..forever? Nonsense. :( I'm drifting to dreamland again...

Temasik (XD!!) a.k.a. Singapore...

Singapore...I feel that I must confess that it is indeed a beautiful country. It gives me this peculiar feeling everytime I'm there. A sense of security, that is. In Singapore, I can actually go out walking on my own, I can carry a bag without fear, I can shop like mad AND I can actually speak English to anybody!! Not to say that being in Malaysia is bad, but face the fact, to those who still carry their bags, I wish you well and do be careful. Being the paranoid me, I have to admit I'm afraid to go out with a bag. (Omigosh! I sound like my mom!) I'm just plain afraid I'll be rob. Anyway, not that I'm a bag fanatic, I don't fancy carrying a bag around everywhere I go. It's rather annoying for me, you know. I love the buildings in Singapore. It's huge! The shopping is...MAD! The sales are great and dirt cheap! I got this really pretty dress! By the way, when I say dirt cheap, I mean it in Singapore dollars...if you convert, it becomes not so cheap. You do get me, do you? I've got lots of pictures to put up here, but for the time being, I simply have to ask you to be patient. I thought I saw my dad upload the pictures but Í can't seem to find it in the folders now...hmm...Nevermind. To those who requested updates, sorry about the delay. Nothing interesting these days. But I promise I'll blog on something other than things in my life.
Till then, my friends.

P.S.: Hey Aileen, if you're reading this, congratulations on getting straight A's for PMR. Knew you could do it. Yes, I'm screaming it to the whole wide world. So, sue me. ;) See you soon...

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Just letting you know, I'll be away to Singapore for a few days. I'll update when I get back! See ya!

continuation of the previous post...

Hello again. These are the pictures I promised. Enjoy!

These first sets of pictures are from Iman's surprise party night. :) Cheers!

Muahahaha...Louis!!!

These sets...well, enough said.

He he...I didn't put much photos here but this'll do. If you want more photos, just personally ask me, I'll send it to you. Ta ta!

High school prom - A night to remember (2)

It was merely a twist of luck when I was finally granted the permission to attend my high school prom. Yesterday, I spent the half the day, going here and there just to get ready for the night. The day started of with Iman's prom dress fittings. Me, Iman and Da were at Great Eastern Mall, trying to sort out Iman's dress...which didn't exactly turn out to her expectations. I won't describe much about it, but so there! When we finally picked the right dress for Iman, we left for Ampang Point to do our hair, which was quite in a rush, seeing that we were already behind the schedule. In the car on our way to Ampang Point, Aunty (Iman's mom) feels that my original dress wasn't really suitable for the night, so she decided to borrow a dress from the same designer for me (Thank you so much, Aunty!). Since I can't upload my pictures now (my computer's got problem), so all pictures will have to wait. Of course, I can always steal photos from my other lovely friends. =D! Okay, so, my hair was tied up in a simple way (not very sure how it looks like from the back cause I vaguely remember the style the lady did for me) but it's actually messy but neat looking thingy. Ah! You'll see later. Da's hair...well..not the way she wanted it but she made it look great later on. Iman's hair was simple blown messy straight type, as the curls didn't work out for her. I'll cut out all the um... not so nice parts. he he...So, we rushed home, changed and here comes the troublesome part: make-up. To Da, it's easy. To people like me, ALLAH! Banyak susah! I scrap by well anyway, thanks to the countless of concerts I had (choir), I learnt to befriend these colourful thingy. Hmm..actually, they're not so bad. I had fun, too! He he he! Green is my theme for the night! Oh MY GOODNESS! I just realized something...I was green the whole night, practically, I was green every single day in school...even NOW I have to be in GREEN??? Oh gosh. Whatever. It's already over. Anyway, we were really late by the time we got that and all, it was already halfway through. So, we finally got ourselves in, settle down...I was seated on a VI table. So the company was all guys except me and two other girls whom I don't know. Oh well, only one dude introduced himself, the rest were too...hmm..."busy" to bother. I definitely had more conversation with the girl next to me! LOL! The bands were pretty loud though. :) I didn't get to enjoy the food. Poor me. Had to starve a little while. But of course, later on, hunger was the last thing on my mind. When the dance floor was "officially" open to everyone else, with the music playing, everyone went wild! Ha ha! Oh well, there's pretty much for today. This is going to be a really long post. So, this is merely part one! Part two will come by shortly. With the pictures uploaded I hope. Honestly, it had been a great night. :-)

Surprise! - A night to remember.

It was indeed a difficult task for me, when I received a message from Kak Nik (Iman's sister) telling me that I'll have to pretend that I need the loo really bad, in order for Kak Nik to sneak up to give the preparations a final touch. Yes, that was how we acted the whole week before Iman's birthday. Frequent calls, whispering behind lock doors, text messaging...just to get everything in order for our little princess's birthday. So, as I finally succeeded in dragging Iman into the restroom with me, we simply freshen up and I waited for Kak Nik's call. Then, Kak Nik called. We walked out of the restroom, making our way to the restaurant. (It was in Gobo at Traders Hotel.) Our table was at one corner of the restaurant towards the end. I was already excited thinking of the great surprise we planned earlier on. You know what happened after that, as we reach our table, heads popped out from under the table and..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Ha ha! It was a total riot! Of course, the most noticable head was Louis's. By the way, those who attended the party (apart from me, Iman and Kak Nik) was...Chrystal, Yen Shan, Farah, Da, Elina, Ryhan and...our one and only special guest, Louis. He he he...fancy being the only guy. Not bad. Not bad at all. I'll post the pictures up soon. As soon as I get to upload them into the computer. We had loads of fun! We had yummy mocktails, delicious food, and lots and lots of chocolates! Whee! Everyone on the table went high..and got drunk. No, it doesn't mean we had alcohol. We were just...drunk. Lol! If you get my drift... I was in heaven the moment I had chocolate fondue with marshmellow...thick, creamy, yummy chocolate fondue...ahh...! The greatness of it! Okok...back to reality. Anyway, where was I? Ah...so, we snapped loads of pictures, having Louis as our..err..photographer. Before that, we had Iman's chocolate cake! By the way, we also had flowers and Ferero Rocher chocs! All thanks to Kak Nik! =D! Soon, all great things came to an end. (did I get it right? *shrugs*) Louis was the first to leave...then we girls went to hang out at the restroom. (Well, it was pretty!) In there, we took pictures, we..err...violated Iman's prezzie given by Elina and Ryhan (which I'm not telling you what..) with full curiousity and silliness. After that, we all head home. It was a wonderful night. A night to remember. A night when I won't trade it for anything in the world. (I mean it literally, unless emergency cases of course!) I went back to Iman's place, as usual. Slept over...well, seeing that she kept me awake with the history of King Henry VIII, Catherine of Aragon and on and on to Queen Elizabeth I. It was really cool though. Finally, I'm getting a full clear story on such history that I'm so keen to hear about, but never had the chance to. Goodie. You know, I'm just going to go read on it. By the way, it's Kak Nik's and Cik Sri Devi's birthday today! Happy birthday! =)! Today's nothing much. Except Iman's prom dress fittings. You must think I spend every waking moment with Iman. Somehow, you're right if you think so...It's prom night tomorrow night. Still undecided..or rather, unable to decide. I would like to go...actually. :) It'd be something nice for a change. Doing something that I don't normally do. hmm...

Back! and Staying.

Well, well, well...it's been a little more than a year since my last post was up. Oh, all those memories, hidden beneath, too bad. Now that SPM is over (YIPPEE!), I can start blogging again. Good, huh? Just make sure I stay loyal and don't stray halfway through the blog. ;-) He he...I can't believe time flew by so quickly. A blink of an eye and it's been one year since I last blogged. Really fast. And it felt like just yesterday when I stepped into Year 1...at the age of 7...now...I'm 16, finished SPM, still growing and enjoying every bit of life. Ahh...how sweet those memories were. Forever they'll stay and I will bring them with me to my grave. Gee, it's raining heavily here now. Today's Iman's birthday! Happy birthday, my princess. May all your dreams come true! (Especially the one with the dream guy in it!) He he he...you better! Oops! I was half-drenched a moment ago. Totally forgotten about mom's clothings hanging outside when it suddenly...rained. *shh...!* Mom's not supposed to know...he he! Nothing much interesting today. Except being home alone. And tonight, I'll be joining Iman for her birthday-family dinner. To my great surprise, I'm gonna mess with some make-up. I know, it's not usual for me but...for my darling's sake, I don't mind. Who knows, I might have some fun! he he he. One more thing, TA-DA! This is my new layout! It should be Version 9.0 by now but who cares! I love it! For the time being. Who knows, my itchy hands will start moving on its own to change my lovely layout for now. ;-)!

Poke?

Okay, changed my layout. I find this...very light and dreamy. Oh, yes. I'm a bit high. I had MARS BARS last night. Goodness, I'm really bored at home. That's pretty much nothing to do!! But...I've got the tickets for Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire tomorrow! Yippee! After much clicking and praying, I've finally managed to book the seats! He he...unfortunately, I have to rush back for tuition later. :-S! THAT'S the sad part. I'm longing to watch Zathura as well! Ah, I'm off to play Neopets now. Very bored. Till then.

The boredness has got into me...

Hello everyone! I think the boredness has finally hit me hard on the head. I'm planning to change my template again. Though I'm sure no one really ever reads my blog...or visits it. Somehow, I've got a feeling that I'm just talking to myself. Seriously. Sad. Hmm...I think something's wrong with my Internet Explorer. I dunno. A friend of mine asked me today. Not really asked but exclaimed quite surprisingly when she saw that my blog was PINK. Good question. I wonder why...ah! I couldn't find a blue template or a black one that time. Something that really catches my eye. Nah...now that so long had passed...TIME TO CHANGE! Alright now. Will stop here. Will continue later on.

I'm just so tired

I'm very worn out. I'm very tired. I don't want to fight anymore. Someone...please, end all these for me! I really can't take it anymore. I really want to cry. I can't find the cure anymore. I'm too numb to feel for it. . .

P.S. I know anyone reading this, you must feel that I'm stupid enough not to start the story. But, who cares? If you care, you'll ask me right out loud!

Lone Ranger

Today is a day when I finally got a chance to roam on the earthly grounds...all alone. Yup yup...a day when I just walked alone in a shopping mall. Actually it's not the first time but what I meant was...roaming alone even when my mum's at the same place...argh! Whatever...i think you get me ryte? Anyway, after Edboard's meeting at Great Eastern Mall...I went to Sungei Wang with my parents ...first of all, to get my mum's hair done. So, I strolled along the corridors, making my way to nowhere. So, there I was, wasting every second of my life walking around in rounds...going into shops and come back out 5 minutes later. I spent most of my time in MPH. Well, that's the only place that interest me greatly. You don't wanna hear the rest of it. It's really boring. Oh well, that's pretty much from me today. More later! Bye bye!

EXAMS OVER! I'M FREE...well, not really!

Hey everyone! I'm back again! Ah...after almost 3 whole weeks of hardcore studying, I'm finally FREE!!! Yippee!! Lol! Hmm, but to think of it, I'm not exactly that free! I'm just...like a bird which is tied to a string, trying to break free. What am I talking about anyway? goodness! Tralalala...now I can't go to bed feeling alright. I felt as though something is missing! Like...not studying before falling asleep flat on the book! ha ha...now that exams are over, the results are slowly crawling out to kill us (softly), i wanna rock the world! Tee hee...like I could lar. Btw, I'm going to Korea at the end of the year! But...I'll miss the Form 1 Orientation this year!! Oopsie. lazy to blog on now. Will continue tomorrow! Bye bye!

Independence Day. . .In School~

I woke up, feeling a bit blurry as I had a nightmare the night before. Suddenly, all thoughts came flying back to my head: Today is a day in school where we celebrate our Independance Day (earlier) and our Hari Anugerah Koko. Then, another thought came across my mind. We all had to wear our 'traditional' clothings. No tight clothings, no high heels, can't over-accessorized. I put on my baju kurung. Never bother to accessorize. Lazy. Wore the not so high heels 'cause that's all that I've got which is not a high heel. Anyway, brought my PE clothes in case I wanna change. So, well...dragged myself to school feeling weird. Everything was quite normal. Then, we lined ourselves up (for those who're receiving the cert). After all the shake, smile, thank, grab, go...I made my way to the crowd to look for a space to sit. Oh, before that...I was asked to jot down notes for the report of the day...(EDBOARD!!!)...because P.Pui Man didn't turn up for school (as usual). So I had to do it. Doesn't matter. All the same. Jotting down notes so...don't really have the time to look for friends to sit with...or take pics of myself with friends...or take pics of ANYONE!...sad huh? Wait. Scratch that! I took a few pics of someone! Tee hee. Okay, so. *checks notes* Then, the Form 1's did their performance. A sketch. Which was quite ok. That's the last thing before recess...which I spent with...um..everyone in the cafe. Ate my mooncakes. yummy! Lepak-ed in the library. Nothing to do. Boring! After that, went walking with Aileen, Jeff and Ebbe down to the Bomba Truck. Everyone was like monkeys...climbing the truck...up and down, playing with the horn, siren, p.a. system...the tools and everything was so cool! If I wasn't wearing heels...I would be delighted to climb the ladder and stuff. Hmph! After that, few more performances. Form 4's performance was GREAT!!!!!!!!! 3 cheers for it! Yeah! Go guys! It was so cool!!! One word: Grool! ;-)! Then a few more performances, few more laughters, few more prezzies to give away...then we start singing the patriotic songs...for a few times! Well...after that, that's the end. That's more about it. Really detailed entrie. Will be working on the report tomorrow. Lazy now. Goodnight. Happie Merdeka Malaysia!
*curtsies*

What a wormy day...

I am like the stupidest human on earth!!! I was...happily cleaning my room today. When I found...the most yuckiest things on Earth, contaminating my room. *Flashback* ...Got back from Millie's sister's wedding reception, took back "bunga telur"and put it on my decoration shelf. Unfortunately, I forgotten about the EGG in the glass. (damn!) Few weeks later, my room started to stink. It got worse. And I got fed up, I FINALLY traced the source of it. THE EGG!!!!! ARGH~!!!!!!!!! I raN out of my room, taking the rotten egg really carefully and threw it away...far far away!!!I sprayed the whole shelf with Shieldtox..(whatever you call it)...twice!!! And then i fell back on my bed, exhausted. Unfortunately, I forgotten all about it later.

Wanna know more? ...[will be continued]

A life of my own...NOT

A question to ponder: Do I actually have a life of my own? ...someone...please answer me through the comment thingy!

From my personal point of view, NO I DON'T. Shucks..gtg now. BYe bye

Boredom's survey.

1. Full name : Wong Zun San
2. Nicknames : Zunny, San San, Alex..Blah...
3. Eyes : Dark brown
4. Height : 164cm
5. Hair : Black
6. Siblings : 2
7. Do u like to sing in the shower? : Errr.... no.
8. Do u like to sing in the toilet? : Definitely no.
9. Birthday: 22nd May 1990!!!
10. Sign : Gemini
11. Address : Hmm...I live in Taman Tar. (Fullstop)
12. Gender : Female
13. Righty or lefty : Righty
14. What do you want in a relationship most? : Loyalty, understanding, trust, care..bla..
15. Have you ever cheated on someone : As in?...no idea. Don't think so.
16. Martial status : Single
17. Do you have a car? : Nope.
18. What kinda car do you have/want? : Depends on what car I can afford when I'm old enough! :-P

FAVORITE QUESTIONS:
19. Movie : Charlie And The Chocolate Factory! Can't think anymore.
20. Song : First Love (Utada Hikaru), Black Humour (Jay Chou), Dusk (Nicholas Teo), Simple Love (Jay Chou)...must you know everything?
22. TV Show : Changes all the time. Don't ask.
23. Actor : EDISON CHEN!!!
24. Actress : Em...not very sure.
25. Food : CHOCOLATES!!! (yummy!)
26. Number : 5...
27. Cartoon : ErM...ALL OF THEM! He he he...
28. Disney : Like I said...all of them...
29. Colour : Blue!!! White, Black, Purple...

LOVE LIFE ETC
30. Do you plan on having children : ^^"....I’m only 15.
31. Do you want to get married : ditto above
32. How old do u wanna be when you have your first child : ditto above
33. How old do u wanna be when your married : ditto above
34. Would you have kids before marriage: Never. The horror of it...
37. Do you have a crush : I prefer not to answer this...(lame)

EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)
38. Music/TV : Music
39. Guys/Girls : I'm not a bi. But really strange question.
40. Green/Blue : Blue
41. Pink/Purple : Purple
42. Summer/Winter : Winter
43. Night/Day : Night
44. Weird saying I have : Cool.
47. What school do u go to? : SMK Seri Bintang Utara.
48. Have you ever taken drugs? : Penicillin?
49. What's a major turn on for you? : What turn on? For what?
50. How far would you go on a first date? : I'll tell you when I go on one...
51. The PERSON you know who is...
Funniest : Well...a lot actually. I'll name one. My AddMaths teacher.
Happiest : Em...Mei Ying. Never seen her mad before.
Strangest : "Stationaries"
Most Caring : Em...I dunno lar.
Tallest : Audrey L., Sat, who else? Whoever as tall as them.
Smartest : Piriya.
Best All Around Person : Em...my teddy bear?? ^^"
52. Which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most? : 2 or 3 only. But...best..Farah Azwin!!!
53. What do you think of soul mates? : I'll tell you when I find mine.
54. Is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf? : Nope nope.
55. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? : You don't wanna know.
56. What's something about guys/girls you don't get? : Who cares?
57. Are you happy? : Yup yup...!
61. Silver or gold : Silver
62. Diamond or pearl: Diamond!
63. Sunset or sunrise : Well...both!
64. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping (to swim in the nude): No way.
65. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: Yup yup!!
66. Do you have any piercings? : One on each ear.
68. What song are you listening to right now? : At the beginning (Donna Lewis & Richard Marx). Now changing to Dearest (Ayumi M.)
70. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon? : Lol...em. Japan, Paris, practically, the whole world!
71. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? : I'll answer this after 10 years.
72. What's your favourite sport? : Basketball and swimming. Oh, and cycling.
74. What makes you happy? : CHOCOLATE!
75. What's the next cd/s you're gonna get/buy? : none
76. Do u wear contacts or glasses? : Glasses
77. What's the best advice given to you? : Can’t remember.
78. Have you ever won any special awards? : Well...not really.
79. What are your future goals? : The road is not clear yet.
80. Worst sickness u ever had : ALL TYPES of sickness.
81. Do you like funny or scary movies better? : Funny
82. On the phone or in person? : In person
83. Hugs or Kisses? : Both.
84. What song seems to reflect you the most? : Hmm...good question.
85. If you die tomorrow who would u leave everything u own to? : My family (duh)
86. Do u have any enemies? : Don't think so.
87. What is your greatest fear? : Fear
88. Would you rather be rich or famous? : Rich.
89. What time is it in Albania now? : Ask yourself
90. Have you ever been in love? : Dunno.
93. When was the last time you talked to the person that you like : ^^" Must you know?
96. Do u have any pets? : Yeah, tortoise.
97. Are you an alcoholic? : Nope.
98. Who sent this to you? : Got it from Audrey.
99. What do you think of this person : COOL.
100. Do you want your friends to write back?: Write back? You can have THIS in your blog. I don't mind.

This is the most boring thingy I've ever done. Oooo..wait I've got one even more "cool".

UBS Farewell Party 2005

Finally, it's all over! Though I do missed the Form 5's and the whole party thing. Despite the major food crisis that happened during the party. Everything went well as planned. Just some over-budgeting in food department. But nevermind that, the food was o.k. Just the pizzas that created all the problems. Hish...really made me worried sick! Everyone was done with their spaghetti and the pizzas have not arrived. Then, they made some really stupid fuss outside when they refused to give us compensation for waiting almost 2 hours!!! THe horror of it. But, the games were quite a success. Cleaning wasn't too bad either. Attendance...complete rubbish. They are sooooooooo gonna get it from Pn. Song. Whoever who did not turn up today. Especially form 2's and 3's. Thank god, everyone paid! No, wait. Ebbe didn't! He's supposed to pay...oh, he's so gonna get it from me!!! My door-keeper but he himself did not pay! Geramnya....!!! Okok...well, I didn't mean to but I skived my Moral and Physics class today! AGAIN! I feel so bad! I'm supposed to do presentation for Physics and yet, I've made my group suffered. Haihz. But, I was cleaning and helping out for the Farewell Party. ISyk...isyk! Hmm...practically..my whole day was lighten up by the presence of my 2 really cute nephews! My nephew actually talked to me again!!! He called me! And he was concerned when I wanted to head back to my room! Yippee!!! So happy! Oopsie...gotta chow now! Bye bye! May the force be with you!

Guilty, tired, exhausted, bored...wth?

Today was supposed to be AS NORMAL AS USUAL. But no, fate had to mess it up for me. My day started normally. REally normal. After tuition, went for lunch. Oh god, I've waited for aged for my food to come. Turns out: the waitress forgotten to write down my order. How awful can that be? It wouldn't be bad if I don't have an appointment with my dentist. My appointment is at 3 pm. My food arrived (with endless apologies) AT 3 pm. What more, I had to wolf down my food without giving any splendid thoughts. Not only that, I was FORCED to finish up my order, THEN continue wolfing down my sister's leftovers. We don't want to waste you see...but my sister don't even bother. So, me..being the dustbin..(growing fatter and fatter everyday...), you get my drift. I reached the dentist's office at about 3.30 pm. Hmm, a 10-minutes of painful experience. Lol...was joking. Not that painful. I was doing filling you see. So...only the part where he drills god knows what was painful. Bla bla..next stop was at Great Eastern Mall. It's supposed to be a complete cycle of happiness as I get to buy another book...but this is different: 3 books in a set...! And it's about RM20 cheaper! So, yeah, happy go lucky me. Until my sister...my 'beloved' sister had to make a scene with my mum. She got SOOOOOO mad at mummy for not allowing her to buy a mechanical pencil which costs RM 5.50...heck..my pencils were so much cheaper than hers. And, she made a whole scene by saying that my mum was unfair for allowing me to buy my book which costs so much more. Out of anger, my mum changed her mind and tried cancelling the payment. I was...shocked and hurt. So, without thinking I told her that she was unfair and that just because of one pencil, I get involved. In the end, my mum changed her mind again and resume the payment. After that, she didn't talk to us both. I felt so guilty after the whole thing. I wished she had stopped me earlier from buying the book and I wouldn't have made a scene too. Now, I'm so sad. On our way home, I realised how tired and exhausted I was. I didn't know that excitement + shock + anger + guilty = tiredness and exhaustion. Now, things are normal once more. My sis still refused to talk to my mum directly. And during dinner, she said something very hurtful that I was SOOOO glad that mummy wasn't there when she said it. It's something that, even I, as her sister felt ashamed of. I won't say it here. It's bad enough when I heard it, what more tell the whole world about it. Besides all of the above, I still haven't get to stay firm and confirm tuitions for physics and chemistry. My dear 'brother', Louis, is driving me up the wall because of his undecided decisions. Guys...all the same. *shakes head*. He even accused me of not telling him that one of our friend is not taking these two subjects, well, honestly, it was him who told me that he knew our friend's secret of dropping the subjects or something. How dared he accused me of being to sleepy that time and slow? Mengada gila...hish hish...LolZ! At this moment, my sister fell asleep on my bed...and she just mumbled something weird. Dream-talking. Ha ha ha...oh, alright. I think I bother you lot enough with my day. How about yours? Cheers!

`zunny

New Skin!

This is the most challenging blog skin-changing I've ever done! Well, cracking my head over the modifying and stuff...this is a nice one. Oh well, just to tell you that school had been closed for the past two days...started on Thursday. Announcement about the holiday was made on Weds...at 3 pm!!! My god. Pity those people who went to school the next day not knowing a thing about the hols. But, come to think of it...it's your own fault that you did not listen to the news at 8pm the night before. Wakakakakkaa...love to do that to people who blame others for these kinda things. Today was as ordinary as ever. Time flew really fast and before I know it, piano lesson finished and the sun was setting. Sighz...how I wish the haze is gone. The pros and cons of haze and holidays. . . I would love to tell you about MY point of view about this matter. But too bad, I'm TOO bored. And lazy nonetheless. Haihz. It's already Friday. Something is bugging me. I don't know if I should do it or not. Should I...or should I not? Some things...decisions are useless either way. Oh well, will tell you one day. If you're blur, that's the way it's supposed to be.

'zunny.

"Mixed feelings"

I'm having mixed feelings right now. Don't ask why. Nvm, there's change our topic. Right. Nothing interesting today. Just that, there's no tuition this weekend. That's new. Lol. By the way, Friday was AGM day for Pusat Sumber Sekolah. Congrats to Pei Kit and your two new penolong plus your AJKS..bla bla...he he...hope you'll do us some justice and..'destroy' unnecessary rules!..hmm, well...praticallly the whole day I was so bored. UBS Farewell Party is looming. And I'm going to collect $$ tomorrow from all the members (exclude the Form 5's). He he..please note that I will bring a hammer with me (literally!!!) to whack those people who refuse to pay...and fail to pay in time. He he he...I can get pretty aggresive when I want to. Oh well, it's getting late. Will update soon. Before I forget, I'm changing the layout again. I guess. If I find the right one. Wish me luck. Bye-bye!

My sis...

My sister...my 12-year-old sister, well, is 12 today. HA HA HA. She invited a whole bunch of lil' people to our house. At first, I wasn't too keen...you know, sick people wouldn't like themselves to be disturbed by naive young kids. So well, I was being all 'sad and sick', so that they would not think of kacau-ing me. When they came in...hate to admit this but...i got almost well...'cause
1. THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!
2. Too bad, I luv kids.
3. Positive thinking!

oh well. the end. nothing much else. bye-bye.

TODAY IS BLOGGIE'S BDAY!!

PPL!!! I ALMOST FORGOT~ TODAY IS MY BEUATIFUL BLOGGIE'S BIRTHDAY!!!
Exactly a year! Gosh..how fast time flies...? *tears*.....Happie Birthday to you..happie birthday to you..happie birthday to bloggie..happie birthday to you...! Muakx!!! Luv ya so much bloggie. Have a wonderful day..(though i doubt that)...anyway! Thx for caring n 'listening' to me all these while...i won't forget you in a hurry. Oopsie. Getting late! C ya bloggie...nitez!

Once a week?

I think my blog entries these a days are shorter and mostly rubbish. Let's just say...I'm not THAT keen to share what's been happening in my life lately. Mainly because...
1) i'M too lazy to blog
2) Nothing interesting happening now.
3) Bored
4) Bored
5) Bored

SEE??? SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I TOLD YOU I'M BORED????

Okiez. Let's cut the crap. I think no one bothers checking my page now. All of my friends have their own lives you know. So anyone reading this must have really love me to keep supporting my activeness of my blog. Thanks to all the ppl out there supporting me. I love you too.
"First of all....I would like to thank my parents for allowing me a blog. Then my friends who are reading this entrie at this moment. Lastly...I would like to thank myself..for being so kind to credit you guys."

I'm crying out loud right now. I shall never step foot on earth again. I shall cover my face with a bag so no one will recognize me. Ever.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - THE END OF STORY- - - - - - - - - - - - - - .....

Oh..

Oh, and I almost forgot...HAPPIE BIRTHDAY TEDDY BEAR! (SZEMIN!!!)

Muaks!

BORED!

I'm SOOOOOOOOO BORED! God save me! ANyway, Harry Potter & the Half-blood Prince is out. YAY!!! He he...most of you ppl are already bored ryte? I'm just here to fill up my time! My endless time! Lol...jkjk. Haihz. I think that's it for now. I'm going to go do something BETTER! He he...c yA~!

Heyaz~

Everything's as normal as usual here. Except that I've changed my background music. It's from Casper The Movie. Or something similar. And the title is...: Remember Me This Way...by Jordan Hill. Well...if you here the actual music with the singer singing the song, you'll hear the niceness of this song. It's sort of instrumental. So...it's more to soft music playing...but..it's nice lar. Ha ha. Oh..PENILAIAN II IS CANCELLED!!! Thx to the choral speakers for national day..but no thx at the same time....cuz...means..I'll be too lazy to study! Lol...okok..I'll study...I'll study...Rytez...GTG now. Byez ppl! enjoy life!

...Horror of Choir

Thursday. My first impression. Dread. Lazy. Oh no! So fast Thursday? Yupz. Today. Thursday. Pretty much nothing happened. Except it's Swan Boon's birthday! Yay! hEE Hee...Ryte. Results for the "Chosen Ones" for Choral Speaking to perform on National Day. Uh Huh...you guessed ryte...I didn't get in. Quite disappointed at first as I wanted to get in for the fun and the so-called rewards you can get by getting selected. But...what I found out soon put my interest in this Choral Speaking performance for this August...off. Well, here's what I found out about it..:-

Date, time and place of practice:
Everday starting this coming Monday (27/6/05), 7 am - 1 pm. At Cochrane..(how do you spell..?) School, under the sun.

Means: No School till August 31. Or somewhere that time. I don't remember. Extra classes will be provided. After school if I'm not mistaken. Oh, and another thing. You get paid RM6 for every practice you attend.

Sounds a lot like my choir practice. Goodness. Oh well, at first I really really wanted it. Then, when Sze Min actually offered me her place in exchange of her freedom from Choral Speaking, I started thinking. As in, really thinking whether is it all worth it to drop 2 months of studies just for this. I've made up my mind. I'm not doing it. Practically I didn't get selected..I just have to tell my poor teddy bear..that I'm sorry and she have to reject her place without a replacement. Sighz..poor teddy. *Sniff...*

Rytez. After that, another horror begins. Choir IS performing on Hari Anugerah Cemerlang. 9th July 2005. Yupz. THe horror is...so many people that I KNOW will be watching. Lucky my mum said she might not come cuz she's too lazy! Love her for that! Lol...Okok..more tomorrow. Gotta dash! Byez!

Model Kerjaya~

YaY!!! We won!! SMKSBU won third place for MODEL KERJAYA!! Yeah! I'm so happie and proud! Devis Rocks! Power Point Presentation Rocks!! Yeah! Lol...Sorry. Still hyper after all that happened today. Gee...Anyway, it's all thanks to Jason & Jeff's work. The most ''tecno'' PP Presentation I've seen in my life. Very COOL! Besides certificate, we won MONEY back! Well, not much...but still! RM30. It's a lil' sad though. He he...We skipped school the whole day..but, lucky for me and Devis, the whole day our class was chaotic as there were no teachers! Except for English period [which I've heard there's HOMEWORK!-essay- i think...] Pn. Sheela is as nice as ever to help calm my class d0wn. LOL! Oh, well. Pretty much for today. More tomorrow!

Haihz...

Today was just like any normal day. Boring no doubt. After tuition, I went to Millie's sis wedding party. Very nice. Met Shanaz there. He probably was surprised meeting me there. Anyway, everything went pretty well. I went back, feeling a bit tired. THen, nothing happened. Sighz...Oh! Now I remember. I'm having "mental breakdown". Caused by overlapping of work to do that is running in my head like a filmstrip. Over and over again. No wonder some people can go mental. There's just too many things to be done!!! I can't imagine how I can finish all up when all my tuitions and choir practices are taking up all my time...gosh. Oops..gtg now. Happie Father's Day. Byez!

Hurt...

I’m so hurt. Why? Once again, my sis told me some people have been talking bad about me. My sister heard it herself. You know what hurts? The fact that it was librarians who were talking about me…and there were librarians that told other students (non – librarians)…bad stuff about me. THOSE people…talking about how I’m faking ‘myself’ like a goody, innocent girl so that I will get the post for the next librarian board. What do you think about it? I mean, if those people out there…who are all talking bad about me…thinking that I’m one of those who wants a post so much…forget it. If you want that post yourself, you are most welcomed to have it. I won’t rebut with you. You can take everything, like I care. If whoever you are, ever talked about me in this way before…reading this very post, you know what? I DON’T GIVE A DAMN! And I don’t care what you say cause I know I’m not acting for a post, I don’t need a post, and you don’t know me that well so just shut up and get a life. Just get out of my life and take all your rubbish talk with you. You can very well keep it. I don’t need this. Sorry people. I just hate it when people thinks I’m ‘acting’. It just …urgh! P*ss me off! (Excuse the language…) If you think you’re so smart…why not stand up and give a chance to yourself to take up that post instead of talking rubbish. *Breathe* Anyway, conclusion now, since I’ve relieved my deepest thoughts about those stuff…like KJH tells me to do….”WHATEVER!”

This statement that had been scaring me since the beginning of the year is officially confirmed..:
FORM 4 LIFE...SUCKS! (excuse me language...but too bad!)

Unexpectedly I've never regretted taking PTS which got me into the state I'm in right now. 'Cause..probably if I'm still with ppl my age..[in form 3]...I don't know what I'll become today...

Anyway, I really love my err...non-living things destructive actions I have when I get depressed. Members of 4 Sce. Beta would know what will I do when I get so stressed up. Ask them. Haihz...I'm just so disappointed in myself!! How could I fail just LIKE THAT? What is happening to this world??? WHy is everything I'm hoping for destroyed?? My hopes are crushed into dust...that no matter what..it wouldn't change the fact...

I found something in my Literature textbook today. It's a poem...somehow..I'm feeling to treasure it. Here, let me share...it might be boring but..whatever.

If....by Joseph Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
Or being lied about don't deal with lies
Or being hated don't give way to hating
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make a heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!


There. How’s this? Well, if you don’t understand it, it’s okay. I mean, come on! This is still literature for heaven’s sake. Unless you’re William Shakespear’s cucu cicit or something…yeah you’ll probably get it the moment you lay your eyes on it. =P. Oh well, I gotta dash now! Dad’s calling! Peace out and rock on!

I'm backie...

I'm BACK!!
And I'm glad that I'm back...
Gosh...I really want to post a really long one since I've not written..since..right. April 30? Wow..one month plus. That's amazing. But...I have this really important Moral project that's bugging the sh*t out of me. I really need to dash off to finish this....

"Why? Why couldn't I finished it earlier??? Shouldn't be lazy...see what happens??"...

That's my inner me talking. Anyway...bye-bye ppl..will post again soon!! Chiaoz and rock on!!!

It's my BIRTHDAY!

It's my birthday today!!!...

YEAH! I'm fifteen! I'm fifteen!..WEll...

Not much different from who I am just a minute ago. I'm not growing rapidly or whatsoever. Or feeling crap changes 'inside' me..

Ok. Now I know I'm crapping. Still..it's my birthday! Thx to those who wished me! And for those who didn't...it doesn't matter actually...not a big deal...FIY, there's about 2 million ppl who has the same birthday with me anyway!

Happie Birthday to ME! Lol...Chiaoz!

Back...

Back! From...EVERYTHING! Free from my burdening post [librarian gathering]...free from my camp...unfortunately...not free from exams...not free from being stuck with YOU!!! Lol..was jz jk..So well...camp was just last week! Can't imagine how time past so fast! Right now at this time last week...let's refresh memory...we're...doing..ah! Mengenang Jasa activity...quite a sad activity...anyway...missing those times already! Hmm..to tell you the truth...I'M SO LAZY TO BLOG RYTE NOW. I WILL....write about the camp....one very fine day...when I'm SO not lazy to blog. Wakakakakaka....C ya ppl! Chiaoz!

Modified ...

Yay! I modified my blog...with the snowflakes (THX AILEEN!) and the cute song...addicted to it. The whole week was..as usual..exams coming!!! But seriously...I dunno what to blog laa..Haihz...i'll blog tmr if i free if not..wait till i got sumthing to write laa...byez!...slEePyZzz...

BEst day iN SkOoL

School was so COOL!!! Reached school feeling so so weird...dressed in a baju kurung..not braiding my hair...didn't even tie my hair! And the "best" part was...I was still carrying a school bag and loads of stuff in my hand!!! Then reached the library and was...I dunno...strange seeing everyone so colourful! Zhi-Ni is SOOOOO CUTE!!!!....Swan Boon also CUTE!!! Swee Hong so pretty!!! Ah..everyone so different!! HEhehe...the moment finally arrived..the moment when students have been dreaming about since..god knows when! Yeah...the moment to...BREAK RULES!!! WOOHOO!!! Haha...But, unfortunately..the weather is sooooooo HOT!!! Changed into PJ's clothes still so hot! Had fun with Swan and the gang...in the library, where it is cold and cooling. Wakakakaka...! Somebody suggested that we do this once a month! Wow!...Imagine...! Ah...but...hoping that even if every month we're doing this...pls dun lar study...really weird and HOT..cuz the cloth and weather. Gtg now...bye!

HELP Institute..

*Gasp!* "A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.!"

Talking about not worrying about my future...

Anyhow...HELP Institute's building already took my breath away...the building is like..so COOL! Yupz..When we (Cik Sri Devi, Christina, Devis, K.Pui Mun, Me and Swan Boon) were..kinda ''lost'' in the building, trying to find our way out to the shops so that we could EAT..(we were dead hungry!)..the ''classes'' inside were so kewl! The lockers..the labs...the computers! Gosh...but...nah..don't wanna think about my future..too far ahead! Lol..

By the way, the workshop is good lar. Not bad...though I know some people thinks it's boring. But..there are a few pointers here and there. Kristin and Ai Lynn should come. Hehe...then they'll probably make drastic changes in our school magazine this year.

Gosh...tuition is totally making me SICK! I've only got tuitions for only 3 subjects. And I'm vomitting blood already. Imagine what will happen if I take more tuitions. Sighz...I really got a headache the last half hour of the class discussing bout the time we had to replace and stuff.. it seems that for the whole month of April..so..my point is...: Why don't we do everyone a favour and JUST cancel the classes for that month??? Why are we making such a fuss of replacing 10 HOURS of classes?? HEll..we've already covered 7 topics...7!!! But no..we don't wanna cancel classes becuz of GOD knows WHAT. Dunno oso. Whatever.

Okok...please..please..whoever reads this...let it not be ANY of my tuition gang. Especially my tuition teacher...he won't kill me...but...u know...Oh..well..I've got choir at 4 pm later. Malasnya...nevermind...go there have fun..i hope. Lol...Then go swimming!! Yay! MOre laterz. C ya!

Tired

I'm so tired. Finally, school week's over! It's a Friday. I managed to complete my BM project last night and fully binded it this morning. Took me an hour half though. Oh, and I completed my choral speaking script in a night...then I combined mine with U Shen's the next morning and with a lil' changes here and there, TADA! You're now looking at a completed choral speaking script! Lol...hey..but it's true. And photo session was tiring! I don't think my pic this year is nice. I still prefer my Form 3 Picx. What am I saying? I haven't even see the pics yet and already "complaining". Nevermind. I've haven't been my old self today either. No wait. Scratch that! THe WHOLE WEEK!! Guess you guys know the reason. Hmm..I take that back again. Not many know. Or rather...not many remember. Sighz...today I feel so tired and down. I dunno why! Plus I'm also bored! Tomorrow have to go to HELP Institute for some workshop for Edboard. So lazy to go laa..but it's supposed to be a good workshop. Hm...better be..or else...Everyone thought I'm sad or something today. Well...partly I am. I dunno why...maybe not enough sleep kut...because of my tiredness, I kinda ignored everyone. Sorry guys. Didn't mean it. Just not my day to talk today. Really tired. Everyone was like asking..."Why so sad?" I'm not THAT sad actually. Hehe...Don't worry people...(to people who are worried about me)...I'm fine...just...you know lah. Oh...exams results are terrible. Ok. Stop! Won't talk about it. You don't wanna know what will happen. Nothing bad will happen. Just that tears will start stinging my eyes or something similar to that. Izzati Lembu's last day in school is today. Gonna miss her like hell...she's supposed to give me her address so I can mail her. Hehe..Wish I could. Good luck to you my friend. God bless always. With all the spare time today, my brain started stringing word by word and from a rhyming line. Then, I came up with the idea of writing another poem. Sorry guys, won't post that in public. Love that poem. You wanna read...? Let's see if you guys are in my 'specialized list'. Oh, great. My newly created word. Lol. Oh well..better chow now. Exact time? 11.49pm. uh huh...Tomorrow need to go school. And Edboard. hehe..very well..c all of ya soon. Byez! Cheerio selalu!!

Skool! Results! Argh!

"Ring! Ring!"...Apart from that sound..."My beautiful melody from my handphone..."..."Oh no! *Groans*..Please don't tell me it's time for school..."

School holidays are over...*cries*...Missing them already. Woke up feeling really sleepy this morning. Haihz...shouldn't have slept so late last night. Nevermind. Went to school with my tie half-done. "Great. I should have done this last night." The routine is just the same. Same old place..same old teachers..same old..PREFECTS! Argh...people in blue clothings are everywhere. Forget them. Anyway, right into class and memories of exams results came flooding into my brain! Oh, crap! Well...my results were crap as well...I'm not telling you my results. You wanna know..ask me! I just don't wanna ''spread'' this to the whole wide world...Lol! Then...spend the rest of the day..anxious for my next paper to come. Then, library meeting. Usuals...usuals..usuals...have to skip UBS tomorrow for the rehearsal! Huhuhu..I wanna go for UBS! Sighz...lazy to blog now...Till then! Byez

worry sick!

I'm worried. Dead worried. Of someone. My fren. Though I don't really know him. He's worrying me like hell! Okay. I won't say anything more. Btw, I'm also worried for my another fren who did something wrong. I wish I can correct him before something - ok..not really bad..but..trouble for him laa - happens. I jz feel like blogging today. THough everything doesn't seem right today. Haihz...looks like I'll blog till here. Dun feel like it already. Anyway, thx Lien Yiny..for that encouraging comment. =) Byez ppl...

I wanna cry. . .

WHy?? Can someone tell me why I have to be the weak one even though I'm the eldest in the family? Why do I always have to back down in every single fight? It hurts . . . from the very bottom of my heart...it spreads all around. It's really unfair for me!!! Bcuz of 'someone'. . . I lost my courage to scold anyone..even those who you can label...:stranger. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what I'm going to turn to when I grow up later in life. Will I stay forever timid and ''lost''? Forever scared and unable to fight for my own rights? Tell me! I don't want to be a fool in my parents' hearts...a slave to my sister...I...I can't take this! It's just too much...why....I felt..like . . . a soul...trapped in a box...a black box...no sun..no light...no life! I don't want to be a slave to anyone. I just...want to be...me. I want to cry...sometimes..I cry myself to sleep..but there's one thing I'm sure of : everytime someone brings my sister into the conversation...i know..tears will silently roll down my cheeks...I've tried to stop..to bring myself together...to be strong..but I can't...maybe it's becuz the pain I've kept in me for so long . . . but all I know...I'll never stop until the pain in me is gone. . .until I know. . . when I can stand back on my feet. . . and when I can return to my world...i gtg now...*sweet dreams...*

Nice Outing...

Today's outing is N.I.C.E. Well..we didn't get to see a movie.. but..we went bowling. Twice. Together with lotz of walking! Gosh..my leg sakit adi. It turns out that...having my sister around is..fun! Not a disaster after all! Haha! Anyway, already planning to take her out for the next outing. Wakakakaka...Bought lovely prezzie for..ok..won't say..in case the person read this!...I will give full details "soon"! Hehehe...So. I think I spend half of what I was given this morning in Sg. Wang n Lot 10. (money i mean...) Wakakakkaa....nvm..once in a blue moon. :-D! I got new handphone thingy. If you get what I mean...those hanging stuff...hehe..mine is blue! My sis one is pink! ISh...gtg now! Byez!

Sunday morning rain is falling...

" Step by step, heart to heart, left right left, We all fall down..."
"Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win but the battle wages on...for toy soldiers"

I love this song man!!! SO chun-ted...hehe...It's HOLIDAYS!! Yay! Finally a chance for me to go out tomoro! But...wait..there's a catch...yupz...hang on! It's no ordinary catch! It's just a TINY nightmare: My SISTER is TAGGING along! But..nevermind...since she's my only hope of going now....hehe...once in a while wouldn't hurt..will it? *Praying to God* "Please..don't let tomorrow be a disaster.." But I don't think it will...hehe... Anyway..tuition was a bit..'fast' today. N I got really really sleepy in the car...I slept for a couple of hours I guess..then I went for choir...met all my fwens...miss them so much. That Jeff (Chee Kan) mengada...he ah.."miss" my sis soooo much..hehe....aiya...gtg now...byez...

The Sea of Emotions...Pt.1

Here's my second poem of the week...hope you enjoy it!

My Sea Of Emotions (Part 1)

At last, a blast of freedom
Filled with happiness and fun
Running wild in my fairytale kingdom
Kissing the air, thanking the sun.

*

Looking down the road so empty

Quiet, silent and cold

Wondering why I couldn't see

Wonderful things that I've been told.

*

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks

Disappointment filled inside

All my mistakes made me weak

Wishing I could just hide.

*

Rushing of the air

Screams here and there

Laughter everywhere

Excitement? You bet!

*

Poem's Day...

Ppl! I've written a poem today. When I came back from skool. Something happened in skool that 'inspired' me to write this not-so-good poem. Anyway. Just wanna share it. Nolar actually. I jz feel like posting it up. That's all...there will be another one tomoro. Lol...


I'm weak
I know
I'm soft
It's true.

This is unfair
But what can I do???

I can't scream
I can't shout
I felt useless
I felt like being used.

Can someone tell me why?
I had to go through this
I fear I might no longer keep
The pain I've endured so long.

All these questions in my head
Screaming to get out:
Should I be who I've always been or
Should I scream and shout?

As I sit and close my eyes
My thoughts went running wild
I felt the changes in my mind
And hope to see the light.

Looking throuhg the window pane
Admiring the glowing sun
Wishing I could forget this pain
And remember all the fun.

Exams are killing me. . .

"Two more paper...just two more paper, Zunny. Then you're FREE!" Finding myself repeating that sentence after my EST paper today over and over again. I really can't wait till Friday after Accounts paper, then...I'm so totally be jumping for joy! Well, I hope I would. Now that I found out I'm so moody these a days. No idea why. Nope...not exams. Not overwork or something. Nada. Oh well. Forget it. Hope it'll goes off ryte after exams...then..I can cheer with my fwens or something. Knowing me, something weird. Okayz. AddMaths after this. I mean, on Friday. Wishing that I would scrape by at least with an A. Jz the borderline can make me jump with joy. Or if worse comes to worse...at least (i'm hoping!) a B. Or a C. It's the first test rytez? What am I thinking??? How can I think of my results when I'm not even sure I can complete the paper in an hour's time??? ARGH! THIS is scary. "God bless me...and my fwens..." Gosh, I can't think straight. And I can't wait to online. (BTW, I'm onlining secara 'haram'.) "Be patience, Zunny...Friday's coming...it'll be quick...and you can be free..." Psychonyer saya..talking to myself in my blog. Anyway, I dunno what else to write. So I might as well say goodbye. Wait for my next entrie on FRiday! Byez!

Exams!

Okay gotta be quick b4 my sis returns. Rytez...jz drop by to see how's my blog doing. Ah...still the same. Lovely! Hehe...Exams on Monday...crap...haven't study...Hey...will blog more after exams...ryte now...have to chiaoz! Byez!

Terminated.

Hey ppl! I've changed my layout. "The Lost Memories Version 6.0". Is it kewl or what? Anyway, I only took about 5 hours to get this complete. Really fast...compared to my 2nd layout ages ago...it took me more than 10 hrs...imagine! Really glad...though there were many crap trouble that got into the way...patience guided me and brought me to where I stand today. Oh great, I ter-cipta another rhyming phrase. What's with me anyway? I finally found out how to change the thingy on the Tag Board. Kewl...=D I luv my blog...sighz..I'm crapping at this hour now...gosh..it's midnight N i'm still awake N I haven't pack for skool tomoro! :s I'm so naughty...BTw, blog will be terminated for about...a week..till next Friday. Cuz of exams. Gonna miss being online...Nvm...I'll talk about the Sports Day when I get the chance. Chiaoz ppl...gtg! C ya!

P.S. : Thx 4 all of your support during the "hard" times for this blog. LOL!

~Sports Day~

Gee, tomoro is Sports Day already...I'm not going to wakil Shirtliff for anything again this year..so..I'll just be there and give my support. As usual. Shirtliff spirit is running low..i don't know why...I just got this feeling...no offence to all Shirtliff members. Okay. Enough about that. I don't think I can online tomoro...maybe can replace on Sunday..wakakakkaakakaka..=D. Oopsie..gtg now..gtg sleep so can wake up tomoro and then...water game!!! *splash*! Haha..c ya!

SHIRTLIFF ROCKS!!!

Happie Valentine's Day!

*Happie Valentine's Day!*

God Bless You.

May your day is filled with chocolates, flowers and everything nice!

C ya!

Flu..

Woke up feeling...a bit strange. Wondering what it was..suddenly..i was overcome by a feeling...then...AH-CHOO! Oopsie...excuse me! Hehe...looks like I'm getting flu. The first half of my day was spent doing homework. The other half was spent in Times Square. Unfortunately, I didn't go there to have fun in the Theme Park...I spent it walking around and around and choosing watches which were selling at RM10 each!! So cheap! N they're all so pwetty! Hehe..I got 2!!! =P. Ah...today's the last day of the week for me to online. So sad...all bcuz of my dominating sister. If it wasn't becuz of her, I would've enjoy myself onlining tomoro! Oh well...um..rytez..today's my mum's birthday! Hehe...nice...I wanted to make her something but she never lets me! So evil...N I owe her a dinner + RM10. Hmm...okayz...sure..one day..hehe...Ryteza...oopsie...guess I gotta go now. Byez!

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke

Dead tired...

Ah...the comfort of my home sweet home. I'm finally back from my "balik kampung" journey. Feeling so tired...but still hyper. Dunno why. I'm expecting my mum OR dad to come yelling at me any minute by now to ask me to go sleep. *I hope not* I really want to stay online a little longer. As I'm behind my schedule and I really don't like my memory that fades as quickly as it comes. I have probably like...10 things I'm supposed to do once I go online but every single time I go online...*blank*..."What am I supposed to do again?" It's really annoying, come to think of it. As soon as I go offline...everything rushes back into my head and you'll find me whacking myself with a book. *just joking* I don't whack myself, but I do scold myself. I'll fell so geram with myself that I keep on scolding myself "stupid" till my mum thinks that I'm nuts or something. ARGH! I'm so bored...I miss someone...in fact...come to think of it...I don't only miss someone...I've been missing everyone!!! Yeah...KIM!!! TEDDY BEAR!!! EVA!!!! Y SO LONG NEVER CALL ME??? like they're gonna read this anyway. Hehe...psycho me. As usual. Ah...tomorrow's my last day online for the week. The next time I'm allowed to online is like...next Friday. Sad. Yes, my sister is still dominating my life. And it's probably a tradition to her to report every single thing that happened to me...such as...from whom I received my sms..(like I tell her that)...who called...and stuff..kinda annoying. Thank god she doesn't go online these days..if she ever read this stuff..my life is over. Oh well..malasnye I want to blog..guess I'll end it here. Byez ppl...

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke

Hurts

Tear drops. Swish. A cut in my heart, bleeding and hurting as I struggle to go on through the day. Smile. To hide my sorrow. WHY??? Why is he treating me this way? What have I done??? Why is he paying more attention to others and not to me? Does he not realize that I exist??? I've tried so many things to make him notice me, to make him realize that I'm always there for him, to make him realize that I really care about him. Didn't he realized that I'm always the last one, waiting for him? Then, he'll go chasing the others when they left him. I'm always the one following his trail behind. Hurts. I totally meant NOTHING to him. I know that. I can feel it. IF he dislike me 'cause of the incident at the hotel...please forgive me. I'm trying to protect you! If not...I don't know what would happen. But of cuz he will NEVER EVER read this entrie. Gosh...I really love him! More than anything else in the world. (except for my family, friends..bla bla bla...) Everytime I'm left out, I tried to communicate with him. Then, I know. Even if I'm pushed into his existance, even if we both are the only people in a room or even the world...I am...n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Looks like I can do nothing ryte now. I can't change the fact. I can only accept it and move on. Knowing that he is always thrust into my presence. And that he will never disappear from my life. Till the day I die. Serious. I believe that one day, his perspective towards me will change. As he grows mature each day. I know...someday...it'll happen.











What? Do u guys know who m I talking about? Tee hee...I know whoever's reading this might think that I'm talking bout my crush or something...wakakakak..like I'm ever stupid enough to write it online! Gosh...anyway...I'm talking bout my 2-year-old nephew that I love sooooooooo much!!! Yes, it's true. He's ignoring me. Total obvious ignoring me. He only 'have eyes' for my sister. Yeap. It does hurt. When you keep trying to talk to him but him ignoring you. It really hurts. Especially when he throws away your hand when he realizes it's not my sis. Especially when he runs not at me but at my sister. Especially when I'm sitting ryte in front of him and he RUNS looking for my sister n niece n nephew just to tell them that he like one car. And he never tell me a single thing. Or rather, he never utters a single word to me. It sucks. But, I'm wishing...and still wishing..that he'll change as he grows up. I really want him to know that I really care for him! That's how much I love him.

"Like a blade of a knife, so sharp, so sweet..." - Princess Mononoke.
(She didn't say it. It's from the movie theme song.)

Haihz

Looks like I'm not that strong after all. Hehe...I'm not wakil for rejam lembing..I finally found out. Nevermind...I'm giving better people more energy! Hehe..I can't throw far. So..I think you get the drift. Not very disappointed. Weird me. Anyway, Kristin asked me and Kim to do high jump. I STILL CAN'T DO IT!!! Darn...I so really want to go OVER the yellow pole. The thing is...everytime the pole gets nearer...I just freak out! Gosh..I don't know why's that..but yeah..that's what happened. According to Jeff, my way of jumping can bring me serious injuries. Anyway, I'm addicted to high jump ryte now. Oh..I'm kinda bored now...what to do...what to say...aiyah...oklah...i know. I'm not in a very good mood these a days...dunno why...sighz..guess what? I figured out that...I'm already FREAKING OUT over my exams!! PLus all the work I haven't do! Including all the work a gathering is burdening me upon!!! ARGH! Then..i kena bullied by all my ketuas..for not being able to collect more money from my fellow librarians! They were practically "abusing" me. Sorry for all the seniors who are reading this...but it is SO NOT MY FAULT that those ppl are not paying up! SO?? Why are you guys so "mad" at me for??? Gosh...I'm so mad ryte now....*boiling*...almost lah..OMG! We haven't started anything for our UBS Project!! What are we gonna do??? Pn. Song will soooo totally kill us!!! We are so dead!!! Plus my Kimia Project which we have to hantar on 14/2/2005!! N it's not done yet! Ryte after holidays!! ARGH!!! So many things to do, so little time! gtg now! byez

Cross Country

Oh gosh. I haven't blogged for days...ryte. Anyway, today, instead of studying, students of SMKSBU went for 'merentas desa' a.k.a. cross-country. Well, as we are seniors now, we're supposed to run at around 9 plus. Okay, I dunno what to say...but..the semangat is in the air! At first The Dumpsters were all together, but all of us [please note that we exclude Jeff] got seperated. I mean to say, our dearest Kimster N Minster went running with full spirit unlike me, who is not suitable for running. After 15 minutes or so, my lungs were already burning. So I kinda..walked mostly of the 4.5 km thingy. And yet...I'm so tired + exhausted. Evaster was kinda behind me. She was even tired-er than me. Pity her. I only ran at the downward slopes and walked at the upward slopes. It's really tiring. And yet...I walk alone. Oops. Gtg Now. Later!